A New School of Magic
by Arigatomina
Summary: HP inspired fic. Yaoi, NaruSasu, KakaIru. Young shinobi are disappearing in Konoha, Kakashi is acting suspicious, Kyuubi is freaking, Naruto is moving in with Sasuke...and isn't Haku supposed to be dead?
1. The Gathering I: Suspicious Behavior

**Author's Notes:** This is a sequel to my one-shot 'Creating a Legend'. That fic introduces the setting and most of the prominent adults in this story. It's not necessary to read that in order to follow this fic.

_**Late Category Explanation:** There was a lot of confusion about this fic. I feel kinda bad now. So here's the scoop. This a Harry Potter-inspired fic. It's not a crossover because there won't be any HP characters in the story, and no Hogwarts. It's not a HP fusion because it doesn't follow the HP storyline. But it is inspired by HP and most of the fic will take place in a psuedo-HP world. I thought the title alone would give that away for those who didn't look at the prequel. The prequel is a oneshot telling about the school and introducing most of the teachers. It's not really an AU fic because the Naruto kids come from the canon Naruto world. It's a TWT fic that becomes AU as the story builds._

**Edit: Timeline:** This takes place before Naruto and Sasuke's confrontation at the hospital. In this fic, Itachi never passed through and it didn't take Naruto very long to track down Tsunade. To make up for a plothole I didn't realize until the most recent chapter, Sasuke already knows about Naruto's Rasengen.

**Summary:** Young shinobi are disappearing in Konoha, Kakashi is acting suspicious, Kyuubi is freaking, Naruto is moving in with Sasuke...and isn't Haku supposed to be dead?

**Pairings:** NaruSasu, KakaIru, and more  
**Warnings:** Yaoi, will have smutt, humor, and violence

**A New School of Magic**

_The Gathering I: _Suspicious Behavior

Iruka was having a busy week. Sasuke was still in the hospital following his confrontation with Gaara, and Naruto, who had always healed fast, had never really been hospitalized at all. That left the boy with too much free time and no one in his team to hang out with. Which meant he was bored. Which meant he was hungry. Iruka had treated him to ramen three days in a row and fully expected to spot that tousled head of blonde hair the moment his class let out for the day. He didn't really mind being used as a distraction. He just wished Naruto would hurry up and visit Sasuke before his favorite ex-teacher went broke.

His busy but normal week was disturbed when he stepped out of the academy to find, not Naruto, but Kakashi waiting for him. That was unusual, but not precisely strange. They'd gotten along better lately, no more embarrassed explosions that led Kakashi to put him, condescendingly, in his place. He was the chuunin, Kakashi was the jounin, he was the former teacher, Kakashi was the current teacher. Iruka had come to terms with it. He had no problem being calm and friendly on the occasions they ran into each other. And there was always the possibility that Naruto had been bugging Kakashi as much in the last week as he had Iruka. That would explain why Kakashi might wait for him after his classes.

The strangeness began with Kakashi's appearance. He was wearing a plain blue cloth band over his eye instead of his forehead protector. His clothes were unusual in their casualness - a long black coat that was unbuttoned just enough to show a dark gray shirt and black pants combined with his typical cloth mask. Even his shoes were different, black boots that wouldn't be practical in anything requiring taijutsu. It wasn't unheard of for a ninja to dress casually, even eccentrically - Gai's green spandex was a prime example. But the lack of a forehead protector stood out. Most ninja didn't even take them off for festivals, the hitaiate standing out in glaring contrast to loose kimonos and formal wear. He'd never expected to see Kakashi without that.

The strangeness got worse when Kakashi saw him, let out a startled laugh, and started circling and eyeballing him. Iruka tensed and blushed and stood rooted in place, his head turning one way and then the other to follow the circling jounin. Kakashi circled him three times, slowly, staring, before coming to a stop in front of him. Then he gave that laugh again. Iruka found the furious blush burning his face.

"What?" Iruka snapped. Embarrassing him when he'd spoken out of place was one thing. They'd gotten past that. There was no reason for Kakashi to look at him like that without at least explaining the joke first.

"You look good," Kakashi said, his tone happily surprised. "Got some nice muscles going for you. Been working out?"

Iruka blinked and frowned, that blush darkening even more. "Of course," he said sharply. Teaching at the academy wasn't a stationary job no matter what some people liked to think. Admittedly he didn't train as often as he'd like to, especially recently with Naruto roping him into nightly ramen trips. He still stayed in shape as much as possible with his schedule. A few shinobi children might be nothing to a ninja, but a whole class of them was at least as challenging to control as a B class mission. And he did it daily.

"That's good," said Kakashi. He sounded thoughtful now, a sly thoughtful, the way he would have sounded if someone had asked him what the little orange books he read were about and he was considering whether or not to enlighten, and possibly traumatize, the curious person. "I like that," he murmured, so quietly Iruka wasn't sure he'd heard him correctly. "Should let him out of bed more often..."

Iruka was sure he'd heard that last part wrong. If he hadn't, he was going to pretend he had. Jounin were secretive about their personal affairs. It was common practice in a role where anyone close was a potential target. He hadn't heard anything about Kakashi having a lover before and as far as he was concerned, he still hadn't heard anything. He ignored that little part of him that jerked in annoyance, disappointment, and maybe a dash of jealousy. He barely found time to train, forget a personal life.

"Can I help you?" Iruka asked, testy now. "Did you need something?"

"You don't want to chat with me?" Kakashi blinked. His expression, what little of it was visible, sobered abruptly. He almost sounded suspicious and...angry, maybe. "You don't like me?"

Iruka had heard plenty of rumors about Kakashi. That he could be too serious, or too flippant depending on his mood. That he liked to torment and poke at his friends, or drive them to over exuberant craziness like poor Gai. That he mocked his students with jokes that weren't funny and made no sense. That he was a lazy loner who didn't associate with anyone or do anything unless he had to. Iruka had heard it all, but he'd never experienced any of it firsthand. To be blunt, he was below Kakashi's line of sight. So he had no idea if Kakashi were serious or joking, and he didn't particularly care either way. This weirdness was as tiring as distracting Naruto for days on end.

"I like you fine, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said calmly. "I'm just curious what you wanted to talk to me about. Is this about your team?"

Kakashi shrugged, still eyeing him with a strange mix of disappointment and resentment, though it didn't seem aimed at Iruka in particular. "My team. Ah, I guess that's good. Tell me about them. They're young, eh? Talented?"

"Of course," Iruka frowned. Was he doubting that? "Are you worried because Sasuke's still in the hospital? You shouldn't be. He'll be out soon enough. Naruto's told me about their fight with Gaara," that half of it was certainly exaggerated went unsaid, if Kakashi wasn't familiar with Naruto by now, he never would be. "They're definitely the strongest genin in Konoha right now, even if Shikamaru was the only one to pass the exam. Asuma-sensei says he's even more of a genius than Sasuke, so that's no surprise. He'd do well leading Team 7 in the future." He winced a little and added, "Providing he learns to work with women. Sakura would probably kill him if he-"

"I'm not really interested in girls," Kakashi cut him off. "Where are the boys now? Sasuke's in the hospital, be out soon, that's good. What about Naruto?"

Iruka had flinched at the casual dismissive statement. His first instinct was to defend Sakura. She wasn't as powerful as her male teammates, but she showed plenty of potential and she was definitely less troublesome than either of the boys. He kept his tongue just because of that - Sakura wasn't troublesome. Maybe Kakashi was simply worried about the rivalry that had kept Naruto roaming around Konoha for the last week instead of admitting he was worried about his teammate and just visiting him already. If Kakashi had decided to step in and talk to Naruto about it, that was a good thing.

"He's probably bothering Shikamaru or playing somewhere with Konohamaru. If it's the first, you might try talking to Asuma-sensei."

"Asuma," Kakashi repeated, as if testing the name in his mouth. He didn't seem to notice the confused way Iruka was staring at him. "You think we get along?"

"I..." Iruka blinked and frowned at Kakashi, a dash of worry starting to build in his stomach. There was something really wrong here if Kakashi were asking him whether or not one of his closest friends 'got along' with him. Iruka barely even spoke to Kakashi, let alone Asuma. How was he supposed to know?

"I would think so," Iruka said, finally. "He's one of your closest friends after Gai-sensei..."

"All right, then," Kakashi said, smiling suddenly and looking relieved. "I tell you what, Iru-kun, it's just not right for us not to get along better. I'll do you a favor. The next time you see me, you return the favor and I promise, we'll be a lot closer. The way we should be."

The strangeness that had started the moment Iruka stepped out of the academy peaked then and tipped over from the realm of strangely weird into the pool of outright bizarre.

Kakashi eased to him, slipped his arms around him and bent him into a probing kiss that was, quite frankly, a little too familiar and stimulating for Iruka to handle. He did it as if he'd been kissing him for years, and his hands...they went right to the small of his back and his neck and...teased...rubbing sensitive spots Iruka hadn't even known were there. The kiss and the embrace smothered him and he made a small whimpering sound in the back of his throat that he would obsess and be mortified over for the rest of the week while he hid out for fear of running into Kakashi again and being expected to 'return the favor.'

A moment later, Kakashi stepped back with a pleased hum. He adjusted his mask slowly enough so Iruka had a clear view of his face. Then he winked and disappeared without so much as a waft of the usual smoke and breeze accompanied by teleportation jutsu. Iruka was left standing in shock, his lips feeling bruised and damp, his fingers tingling, goosebumps breaking out on his arms, and his thoughts frozen for an indeterminable time before he snapped out of it, blushed furiously, and teleported to his apartment to start the aforementioned obsessing and hiding.

.-.

Iruka wasn't the only one in Konoha under the impression that Asuma was one of Kakashi's closest friends. What he didn't realize was that 'second closest friend' didn't mean much when it came to Hatake Kakashi, and even less when it came to Asuma. The rough chainsmoking man got along with everybody. He didn't ask questions, didn't say anything unless there was a reason to, so it was easy for a loner to just happen to spend time near him now and then. That was the extent of their friendship. They were at ease in each other's company, didn't mind exchanging words now and then, and shared a mutual trust and respect if they were ever on a mission together. Aside from that, Kakashi visited Asuma about as often as he sought out Gai. Meaning not at all.

Shikamaru marked the visit as suspicious immediately. He'd never once seen Kakashi come to talk to Asuma during his entire time as part of Asuma's team. Not once. That alone was strange enough to make him pay lazy, but very careful, attention.

Asuma didn't seem to think anything strange about it, since he was easygoing and it wasn't hard to assume Kakashi had just happened to be passing by. The sudden questions made him raise a bushy eyebrow, and he did look at Kakashi for a moment before answering. But his casual demeanor never changed, an easy smile, loose tone, and relaxed leaning in the booth across from his newly graduated student while he talked with his sometime friend. He made one comment about Kakashi's outfit and that was all.

"I'm slumming," Kakashi had answered, with a deadpanned expression that made Asuma snort and light up a fresh cigarette. "Tell me, in your opinion, which boys are the strongest in Konoha right now?"

"That a loaded question?" Asuma drawled. He didn't wait for Kakashi to answer. He just waved a hand at the seemingly inattentive Shikamaru sitting across from him. "He's the only one who made it to chuunin. Eh, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru glowered and hunched over his untouched meal. He was used to the casual and not-so-casual praise he'd been getting. He didn't care anymore. What he didn't like was the avid way Kakashi was looking him over. It was almost disturbing.

"I see," Kakashi murmured. He eyed Shikamaru until his slow smile closed the visible eye. Then he turned back to Asuma. "And after him?"

"Sasuke," Asuma shrugged.

He didn't put any emphasis on the name. He knew Kakashi wasn't begging for compliments on his team, so he took it as nothing more than a fellow leader asking his opinion of the current genin in the village. It wasn't the first time he'd had a conversation like that. Gai had talked his ear off about the exact same thing a week before the exam, getting more and more heated at how low some of his team members were ranked on Asuma's scale. At least with Kakashi, Asuma knew he wouldn't get any arguments. Kakashi wanted his opinion, not to force his own onto someone else.

"Sasuke," Kakashi repeated.

"Yeah," Asuma muttered, taking a drag off his cigarette and exhaling to the side where it wouldn't hit Shikamaru in the face. "Same as what we thought before the exam. Most promising genin and all that. I would have put Hyuuga next, but Naruto beat him, so I guess he's grown a lot lately. So I'd say Naruto, then Neji. Tough after that. That Aburame Shino's a wild card. No telling how he'd fare in a fight with any of the others. I would have tied him up with Lee if, you know, he weren't so bad off."

"Bad," Kakashi prodded, making it a question more than a statement.

"No telling if he'll recover," Asuma said, quiet and frowning now. "Gai's real messed up over it. But that Lee...one tough kid taking on Gaara like that. Just bad luck he had to match up with him."

"About Gaara," Kakakashi prodded again, a little less casual now.

Asuma didn't seem to notice the way Shikamaru tensed and shot Kakashi a sharp look.

"Yeah," Asuma sighed, as if Kakashi had said something besides the kid's name. "I don't think we'll be seeing much of the Sand for a while. Good thing. We have enough trouble now as it is..."

"So," Kakashi said, casual again, "if Gaara weren't Sand you'd put him...?"

"I would have said over all of ours," Asuma scowled. "Knowing what he is," and he shot a pointed look at Kakashi, since he couldn't mention containers in front of Shikamaru. "But then Naruto beat him, well, with help from Sasuke in that match, still Naruto mostly. I guess he'd be up there with the two of them. He's got no self control, though. He'll never make chuunin like that, powerful or not."

Kakashi nodded. "So after Lee, assuming he recovers...?"

"Then it gets all messy," said Asuma. "You're just talking about the boys, right? Well, I'd say Kiba and then Chouji. You know, Chouji could be up there with Hyuuga Neji if he had to be, if he ever went full out. Not much that can get him motivated enough for that though, aside from Shikamaru here. I've got a real loyal team."

He flashed a fond, surly look at his student. Shikamaru grimaced and shifted in his seat. Kakashi beamed.

"Ah, loyalty," Kakashi sighed, "such a good trait."

"Yeah," Asuma snorted with a half grin, his cigarette clamped in his teeth. "Not that you'd know much about that. I hear Naruto still hasn't visited Sasuke. He was down there with Shikamaru the other day, checking up on Lee, you know, and didn't so much as peek in on his teammate. That's poor morale you got there, Kakashi."

Kakashi sighed, looking playfully sad. "Ah, guess I'll have to work on that. Lock them in a room together, maybe."

Asuma stared for a second and then let out a barking laugh, almost dropping his cigarette. "Best damn idea you've had yet. Should of done it right from the start, you ask me."

"Well, better late than never," smiled Kakashi. He stood smoothly and flashed a look at Shikamaru. It wasn't a suspicious look, but it made the boy's eyes sharpen noticeably. "You two busy later?"

Asuma shrugged and scrubbed his cigarette out on a saucer. "I got stuff, probably should of gone to it a while ago."

"What about you?" Kakashi asked Shikamaru, his eye crinkling closed as he smiled.

"Why?" asked Shikamaru, his tone more suspicious than annoyed. Asuma finally noticed and gave him a faint frown.

"I was hoping you'd help me hunt down Naruto," Kakashi beamed. "He won't be so quick to run off if he thinks it's just you, right? I wouldn't want him to catch on that I plan to get him to visit Sasuke, after all."

Shikamaru gave him a long stare. There was something off. It wasn't just Kakashi's odd outfit. It was the way he'd talked with Asuma as if he were only pretending to be causal, when really he'd been paying avid attention to every bit of information he could get. There wasn't enough strangeness to tell anyone about it, but he thought it would be a good idea to keep an eye on Kakashi, until the reason for the strangeness was revealed.

On the other hand, finding Naruto and helping to get him to visit his teammate was more trouble than it was worth. Way too much trouble. He knew Naruto had only egged him into visiting Lee because it gave him an excuse to go to the hospital. Naruto didn't need encouragement to visit Sasuke. What he needed was to get Sakura out of the room so he wouldn't feel like a third uncomfortable wheel. Every time Naruto dragged him out for a visit to Lee, she was already there visiting Sasuke. And if Kakashi hadn't figured that out yet, he was acting even stranger than Shikamaru had suspected.

"_Mendokuse,_" Shikamaru sighed, frowning at Kakashi.

"Is that a yes?" Kakashi beamed back at him.

"I guess," said Shikamaru, with a reluctance that went bone deep. He hated it when his responsibility led him to doing things that were so troublesome. "I already know where he'll be, anyway."

The same place he'd been all week. Naruto might have made a habit of being surprising, but when it came to his personal life he was entirely too predictable. Maybe it would come as a shock to Kakashi to find his student sitting and staring at Hokage mountain. That boy brooded more than Sasuke. Shikamaru was just one of the only people who'd ever paid enough attention to notice.

**.-.  
****TBC**


	2. The Gathering II: Rising Fear

_The Gathering II:_ Rising Fear

Kyuubi was sleeping. He'd stayed alert long enough to heal Naruto, lend a dash of his energy so the kid wouldn't be bedridden for a month, and then he'd curled in his cell for a long nap. His host hadn't taken much physical damage, but the energy he'd expended was more than he liked. Teaching a kid to summon that big toad was ridiculous. Using his energy to do it and then having the toad transform into his shape was just plain insulting. He planned to give Naruto an earful the next time the brat had the nerve to ask for some of his chakra. Not that he even bothered to ask anymore. Naruto was starting to take it for granted. That was another thing Kyuubi planned to correct him on after he rested.

It was a vibration that woke him up. A stone dropping into a still pool and sending tiny ripples over the water. Just a quiet sensation that something had changed, something wasn't right. He'd felt a similar wave when Shukaku's host had entered Konoha. He hadn't paid any attention to that because as much as they disliked each other, he knew he'd always win if they were forced into a confrontation. It was common sense. He was the nine tailed. Shukaku was nothing more than an unsightly annoyance at best. This time the vibration was foreign, unsettling enough to make him raise his groggy head. He hadn't slept nearly long enough.

His host was sitting on a cool rocky surface and staring blindly at the huge faces carved in the mountain across the way. He'd been sitting there for hours. Kyuubi was aware of this in a vague way, something he didn't bother to focus on because it had no effect on him. It was no more important than the way his fur had thickened when the weather grew cold, how it would weight down when it was wetted. He noticed the moment it happened and that was all. It didn't matter, so he paid no attention. He was always aware, peripherally, of Naruto's actions, his status, his thoughts and emotions. They had a symbiotic relationship, after all. He kept the boy ravenous to feed his own energy reserves, the only thing that kept him sane in his prison, and he came to attention when the boy was in danger of breaking, mentally or physically. That was all.

Kyuubi looked through the bars, through the dark, and through Naruto's glazed unfocused eyes. He prodded him the only way he could, with a whisper soft burst of his energy, which he immediately resented having to use when he was supposed to be conserving and replenishing.

_'Something's wrong,' _Kyuubi broadcasted.

Wrong. That was the word. Not just different. Something was wrong. The world had changed once. Kyuubi had been young then, young and foolish and unaware of how final the change would be until it was too late to do anything but accept it. He'd had parents then, kin, and Shukaku had been nothing but an annoying cub prone to scurrying through their territory just to make them hunt him and chase him out. Then the world had changed and he was the last, the only one, of his kind. And then it had changed again and he was trapped, sealed, without even a body of his own. The changes had been wrong. Wrong like this, whatever he was feeling, was wrong.

Naruto blinked, startled, and looked around. He was still dazed from the thoughts he'd been having about that girl and the boy he'd become closest to. Kyuubi let him wake up slowly for now. He was busy letting his senses spread out around him, feeling the humans, chakra, landscape and wildlife. Searching. And as his senses spread out and his fur hunched around his shoulders, he felt another ripple, closer than the first. A bigger stone. Not just that, but a familiar one.

_'One of your friends is gone,'_ he stated. _'Completely removed from this world.'_

There was no emotion in his tone. There were only two, maybe three humans he would extend himself to protect on Naruto's behalf. The ones whose deaths might break his fragile host. The others, the 'friends,' the ones Naruto spent time with and cared about but didn't _need_, were all expendable as far as Kyuubi was concerned. This one had been cared for but not needed. Kyuubi was more interested in the sensation of that life disappearing than the thought that one of Naruto's friends was gone. His host had lived most of his short life without friends. One more or less wouldn't make a difference.

It was the feeling that mattered. He'd felt that sensation before. He recognized it now. It was the same thing he'd felt the moment all of his kind, his kin, his family, had disappeared and left him alone in the world.

_'It's happening again.'  
_

.-.

Lee didn't like it when his friends and teammates came to visit him. He hated the way they winced and smiled, trying so hard to cheer him up, to offer sympathy and support. They came for him and he didn't want to be the one making them feel bad when they went away afterward. It wasn't their fault, he'd known the risk of fighting all out, even if he hadn't realized exactly how dangerous and ruthless his opponent could be. He didn't like the way they refused to accept that he hadn't given up and never would. They should have been reassured by his determination, his confidence in himself. Instead, the more he tried to make them feel better, the worse they looked, the harder it was to smile when they inevitably came back again.

Neji was the worst. It wasn't because Neji cared more. Of all Lee's visitors, Naruto and Tenten had taken his injuries the hardest. And maybe Gai-sensei, but at least he'd been encouraging when Lee proclaimed his goal of making a full recovery. Neji didn't say anything. He didn't even try to smile or cheer him up. Lee didn't know how to talk to him anymore. Weeks before he could have challenged him, boasted his plans to defeat his teammate and rival through hard work alone. And Neji would have sniffed and reminded him of his lack of genius, his place in life and the fact that destiny couldn't be changed through effort alone. Naruto had broken that part of Neji and Lee didn't know if it had left his teammate better or worse.

The visits made Lee uncomfortable. It was the way Neji looked at him now. He could see in his eyes that looking at him left Neji disturbed, determined like he'd been before, but with a different sort of weight on his shoulders now. Lee wondered if Neji saw his defeat as confirmation of his old beliefs, or if he looked like that because he saw himself as responsible for taking up the slack left in the team with Lee out of commission.

Neither of his teammates would tell him what sort of training Gai-sensei was having them do without him. Tenten smiled when he asked and told him to concentrate on getting better, and then she left as quickly as she could. Neji didn't answer at all, merely asking if it hurt, if he was tired, if he wanted to be alone, as if a question about their training wasn't worth dignifying with an answer when Lee was confined to a hospital bed. It made him feel guilty and sad, and he didn't want to feel that way when it took all of his effort to remain determined and hopeful. He was torn between keeping Neji's visits short, so he wouldn't feel so upset afterward, and wanting to make them longer so he'd get a hint of that old comradery they'd shared just a short time ago.

Neji had visited a few minutes before his sensei's foremost rival appeared in his room. Lee was staring out the window, doing his best to talk himself out of that confused and dark place Neji left him in when he left. He didn't hear or feel the usual wind that came with teleportation, but he had a sudden prickling on the back of his neck, like someone had walked in his shadow. He glanced around and then started to look back out the window - the door to the room was still closed and he would have heard it open - and he spotted something out of the corner of his eye, flinched painfully, and looked back. Sure enough, a familiar figure was standing near the foot of his bed.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted, one hand lifted and a faint smile curving his visible eye.

Lee straightened up as much as he could. "Kakashi-sensei! I didn't hear you come in!"

"You were distracted," said Kakashi. "And I was quiet."

"Very quiet," Lee said, in an impressed and happy tone. He'd never have expected to get a visit from one of the other team leaders, especially Gai-sensei's most esteemed rival. It was an honor that made his eyes gleam in a way that was usually reserved for Sakura alone. "Are you here to visit Sasuke-kun?"

"Eventually," Kakashi nodded.

Lee's expression dropped some when Kakashi tilted his head and looked him over. He didn't want to hear any of the usual comments. He was pleased and excited and he wanted to keep that for as long as he could. He'd gotten a visit from Kakashi! He couldn't wait to tell Gai-sensei about it.

"So you came to see me, while you were here?" asked Lee. "That's very considerate of you, Kakashi-sensei."

"Ah," Kakashi smiled, looking up to meet Lee's eyes. "I'm a much nicer guy than people give me credit for."

"Oh, no," Lee said quickly, "Gai-sensei says you're very nice. He has to work very hard to compete with you when it comes to being a nice guy - and you're just as modest as he said!"

Kakashi's face twitched a little, something in his bemused expression making Lee wonder if he'd said something wrong. Gai-sensei went on about his rival all the time, and the things he said were always complimentary, even when he'd been bested in one of their competitions. Lee idolized that sort of relationship. It was the exact type of rivalry he'd always wanted for himself.

"There's a reason I stopped by," Kakashi said, after a moment. "I wanted to see your condition for myself. Your friend, Neji, said it was inoperable."

Lee's stomach twisted in a hot rise of determination and hurt, his eyes glowing fiercely. Kakashi cut him off before he could say a word.

"I don't think it is," Kakashi smiled. "I know someone who could fix you right up, good as new. Maybe better, if you don't mind being prodded a bit while he tries things out. It would be a waste to see you not fulfill your potential."

"Really?" gasped Lee, shock making that knot clench tighter and rise into his throat. "You mean it?"

"Absolutely," Kakashi said, his smile fading until it was soft and sympathetic. "I promise a complete recovery. Shake on it?"

"Of course!" Lee reached his uninjured hand out, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Just the thought that all of his confidence had proven true made him want to laugh. Kakashi's hand closed around his and he beamed and gave a firm shake.

"You're very trusting," Kakashi murmured in fond approval. "My friend's really going to like you..."

.-.

Naruto was standing a few feet from Ino's parents' flowershop when Kyuubi stirred inside him. He'd rushed to check on Sakura first, because she was always on the move these days, either on her way to see Sasuke or on her way back, or visiting Ino, or buying flowers for Sasuke and Lee. He knew she wasn't at the hospital so he'd hurried to catch her en route wherever she was. He didn't know what Kyuubi was talking about, but he believed something was happening. The fox demon had never made a habit of lying to him, or talking to him at all, for that matter.

_'Another one is gone,'_ Kyuubi told him suddenly, in a tone that wasn't quite as cold and unconcerned as the last two times. He was sounding worried now, rumbling in a way that almost came off as more frightened than angry. _'Too close this time. He may be next.'_

Naruto flinched away from the flowershop, panic edging over his face. He'd spotted Sakura inside, talking angrily with Ino, so he knew it wasn't her. Kyuubi wouldn't tell him details. He wouldn't say which ones of his friends were disappearing. Dying? That was the only thing Naruto could think of. And Kyuubi's cryptic demon thoughts were just turning dead into 'removed from this world'. He couldn't concentrate enough to force a straight answer from the fox. He could barely hold still as it was. That made three of them. Three of his friends were gone and he didn't even know which ones? Who'd done it? Who he had left to try and protect, whether he'd be able to protect them even if he did know. The last two had come within minutes of each other.

_'Who!' _Naruto demanded, too frantic and upset to sound as angry as he felt. _'Who's gone? Who's next? Tell me where to go! What do I do? What's happening - is someone attacking Konoha? Just tell me!'_

_'Go to the hospital now,'_ Kyuubi growled, sharper than before, louder somehow. _'As fast as you can. Use this and let it show to anyone who can sense it. Hesitate and you'll be as alone as I was.'_

Naruto shuddered at the sudden rush of chakra Kyuubi shot at him. He didn't stop to question the order. Sasuke was at the hospital. And Lee. If one of them was killed because he'd been too slow and embarrassed to bolt through Konoha with Kyuubi's orange chakra blazing around him, he'd never be able to live with himself. Any ninja strong enough to hurt one of his friends would definitely feel the chakra he was emitting. They'd have to. They'd feel him coming and they'd run away or come fight him, right? He thought that was the point.

He suddenly wished he'd done better in the exam, whatever 'better' would have been considering he'd won all his matches. Better. Enough to have learned to teleport so he could get there in an instant. Because someone was picking his friends off one by one, with no sign of it in the village, no one panicking, no warning at all. Someone was doing it so quickly, so easily, that the last two had disappeared one right after the other. They weren't fighting back, weren't having enough time to fight back. And Kyuubi might not care about the loss of one of Naruto's friends but each one, any one of them, hurt like nothing had in years. He ran along the rooftops, going as fast as he could. And every second that passed he waited for Kyuubi to tell him another of his precious few friends had disappeared from this world.

**.-.  
****TBC**


	3. The Gathering III: Mistaken Identity

_The Gathering III:_ Mistaken Identity

Sasuke was two seconds from climbing out the window. He was tired of being confined to a hospital room, a captive audience for Sakura to fawn over, for Ino to come and gawk at, for everyone he'd never met of the female gender to peek in at before blushing, squealing, and running away just as quick. Kakashi hadn't visited him. Naruto hadn't visited him. Shikamaru had visited him, though Sasuke wasn't sure why. They weren't friends. He was fairly sure Shikamaru disliked him more than most people his age. He'd stopped by once, a few minutes before visiting hours ended. He'd stood in the doorway, frowned at him for a while, and then told him to get better quick because his teammates were annoying without him around. If he hadn't left so quick, and if they hadn't been frowning at each other while he was there, Sasuke might have told him that his teammates were always annoying, whether he was around or not.

Sakura was late for her visit today. That was the main reason Sasuke was seriously considering an escape through the window before she showed up. Her interest in him had gone beyond the annoying and into the disturbing. It was the way she watched him, doting, worshiping, blind and shallow. She wasn't a shallow person. He'd seen that for himself on the rare occasions when she'd shown sympathy for others, for Lee, for Naruto, even for Ino. It was as if he brought out the worst in her, because she only saw the best in him.

He'd told her Naruto was the one who'd rescued her from Gaara and she hadn't spared more than a moment for surprise before she'd gone right back to thanking him for being so worried about her welfare. He didn't have to ask to know she hadn't bothered to thank Naruto. She'd never get around to that because as long as he was near her the thought of being grateful to her _other_ teammate would never cross her mind. He couldn't even look down on her for that because he was just as bad. He'd never thanked Naruto for anything and never would, no more than Naruto would ever thank him for protecting him from Haku. And that was another reason he hated having Sakura visit him. She reminded him of the teammate who hadn't visited, the one who'd suddenly entered his sights as an even more challenging opponent than Gaara.

He couldn't even think of that without his world view twisting on itself. A matter of days. At the beginning of the exam he'd acknowledged Naruto, because he'd survived Haku, defeated him, even, after Sasuke had been convinced he was dying for nothing, protecting someone who wouldn't be able to protect himself after he was gone. But Naruto had survived. So he'd marked him at the bottom of his list of adversaries, proven but untested strength. And then Orochimaru had attacked and it was Naruto who'd stood up to him. Naruto who'd almost single-handedly fought their way out of the forest, Naruto with his bottomless well of chakra and impossibly fast healing. Naruto, who'd summoned a creature Sasuke had only heard about in sannin legends, and then used it to defeat Gaara, who Sasuke had fought and lost to horribly.

Sasuke didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about Naruto at all. Because that much growth in such a short period of time was impossible to reconcile with the clumsy dobe he'd spent months of low rank missions protecting from the stupidest mishaps imaginable. Falling over a waterfall, falling out of a tree, freezing completely at the first encounter with deadly attackers, exerting himself until Sasuke had to support the idiot all the way back to the house they were staying at in Wave country. He hadn't misread Naruto's strength when they were teamed together. When had he lost sight of him so much that he'd not only caught up to him, but possibly surpassed him completely?

He couldn't let himself think about that because the more he thought about it the more desperate he felt. And every time Sakura sat down beside him - beside the bed where he was stuck after exhausting himself by losing to someone Naruto had demolished - he couldn't stop thinking and comparing. He was going to hate her if this continued, to hate the person he turned her into, right when he'd finally resigned himself to the fact that his teammates were important to him. Maybe if he got away, rested in his empty apartment just as quietly as he could rest in a hospital room, but without the constant visits reminding him, maybe then he'd be able to calm down and not feel like his time was running out.

He'd have to sneak away to do that. The doctors had refused to release him, stating the need to monitor the curse mark in case of a relapse. It was humiliating to be forced into sneaking out and he knew they could easily pick him up the moment he got home and bring him right back again. He'd fight if they tried to bring him back by force. He wanted to fight. Maybe it was a good thing Naruto was staying away from him. If he saw him now he was afraid he'd challenge him and he already knew he'd never match someone who'd defeated Gaara, mere days after he'd lost to him. It would be futile, demoralizing, he knew it, and he still wouldn't be able to resist doing it anyway.

He was standing by the open window, glaring, his hands curled into fists at his side, when two taps rang on his door. For a brief moment he considered jumping out. He wanted to. He could stay quiet in the abandoned Uchiha complex and no one from the hospital would be able to track him down. He might have done it, if he hadn't imagined Sakura's face when she entered the room and saw him running away across the yard. Too humiliating.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted, slipping into the room and closing the door behind him. "You weren't thinking about sneaking out that window, were you?"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched and he turned to shoot a resentful look at his teacher. He'd finally gotten around to visiting him and that was all he could think of to say to him? He blinked when he caught sight of Kakashi and his eyebrow twitched again. "Why are you dressed like that...?"

.-.

Kiba was relaxing back against a tree, lazily scratching Akamaru's belly while the pup lounged on his back beside him in the grass. They'd been training earlier with Hinata, who'd been showing an almost scary amount of motivation considering her own cousin had nearly killed her fairly recently. He was still sore from all those jabs she made when she manipulated chakra pathways. He swore the ones to reopen the paths were even more painful than the ones to close them. Seriously scary for such a sweet tempered girl. Akamaru had sat that one out, watching from a distance. Now he whined and enjoyed the tired attention being paid to him. He was the one who noticed the visitor first, snuffling and rolling onto his belly to wag his tail at the familiar man.

Kiba cracked an eye and frowned at Kakashi. All of his muscles felt stiff and achy, so he didn't bother to straighten up. "What brings you out this way?"

"I was looking for Shino," Kakashi smiled.

"Hunh," Kiba sniffed, rolling his eyes. "Good luck with that. His dad's had him on a short leash since he went chasing after that Kankuro guy. That poison he used was some nasty stuff, but I think his dad's more mad that he went off without telling anyone. Figures no one ever told him the quiet ones aren't supposed to do stuff like that."

"He's incapacitated?" asked Kakashi, his smile fading into a frown.

"Nah," Kiba waved, "not anymore. That Nara clan's not to shabby about mixing up antidotes. Took a few days for it to kick in, is all. His dad's probably just got him doing training somewhere on his own. Kurenai-sensei can't handle stuff like that, you know. They're even more closemouthed than the Hyuugas."

Kakashi sighed. "That's a problem. I don't supposed you'd help me find him?"

"You're kidding, right?" Kiba stared.

Akamaru trotted over to Kakashi, who crouched down to pet behind his ear. Kiba scowled at the way his dog's tail thumped happily.

"He's a friendly one," said Kakashi. "Very intelligent."

"Course he is," Kiba sniffed. He leaned forward, sighing at how eager Akamaru was. A few more pets like that and his dog would be conning him into helping the good petter whether he wanted to or not. That was such a low move, getting to him through his dog. "You raise dogs, too, right? That's probably why he likes you."

"Mm," Kakashi smiled, straightening up and watching the little puppy run back to Kiba. "I like dogs. He goes with you everywhere, eh?"

"Inseparable since he was born," Kiba said proudly. "Best friends, great partners. They don't get better than Akamaru, here. He'll be as big as his sire in no time."

"I believe it," said Kakashi. He walked forward until he was standing directly in front of the boy. "So, you up to helping an old man find some secret training spot?"

"Ah, whatever," Kiba sighed. Akamaru barked encouragement and climbed up to rest in his customary spot on Kiba's head.

Kakashi beamed and reached down to help him up.

.-.

Naruto was almost to the hospital when he found someone standing two feet in front of him. He almost didn't recognize him and he ground to a halt at the last second, his sensei taking a sharp step to the side to keep from being knocked over.

"What's going on?" Kakashi asked sharply. His expression was dark and serious, withholding judgement for the moment.

Naruto was too panicky to wince at that look. He knew what Kakashi was thinking. He'd been running with Kyuubi's chakra blazing around him so much that every shinobi in the village ranked chuunin or higher must have felt it. Most of the adults would recognize it, too. But he didn't have time to explain or defend himself.

"I have to get to the hospital," Naruto blurted, standing on his toes and ready to dart off again. "Sasuke and Lee are in trouble - I'll explain later!"

"Naruto," Kakashi said quickly, stepping into his path on the narrow rooftop. "I was with Sasuke when I felt you. He's fine. What are you talking about?"

Naruto choked on a mix of pain and relief. Not Sasuke. It wasn't Sasuke. But that meant...

"And Lee...?" Naruto asked, his voice coming out small.

"I don't know," Kakashi admitted.

"I gotta go!" Naruto blurted, his throat closing up and that panic rushing to burn in his eyes. Kyuubi was a thrum of lashing energy in the pit of his stomach, urging him to forget this talking and run.

Kakashi caught his arm before he made it two steps. Naruto's eyes blazed at him, furious at the complete lack of trust and the precious time being lost. Lee was gone. Sasuke could be next. And Kakashi wanted him to talk? There was no time to talk.

"Think," Kakashi said sharply, his hand curling more firmly over Naruto's arm. "I can get us there faster."

Naruto had just enough time to let out a surprised and relieved breath before Kakashi pulled him a little closer and they both disappeared.

**.-.  
****TBC**


	4. The Gathering IV: Kakashi Kakashi

_The Gathering IV:_ Kakashi Kakashi

Kakashi was in a strange mood. He'd been getting funny looks all day. Most of that was Gai's fault for changing the rules on him at the last minute. Usually when they had a competition the loser, if it were Gai, had to complete a ridiculous amount of repetitive endurance exercises. If Kakashi were the loser, he had to witness Gai's triumphant posing and listen to him for ten minutes before he could safely leave without being followed. A loss meant he had at least a week before he'd be challenged again. A win meant he had a day or two. It was a coin toss as to which was more painful, being challenged often, or having to put up with Gai spreading word of his proud win to everyone he met for a week straight. Kakashi had settled on an even mix of the two. He'd never expected Gai to suddenly demand he perform some penance for his loss. Wasn't putting up with him punishment enough?

Obviously not. Gai had won their competition to see who could blind the most birds with a smile. He'd won by a very large percentage given that Kakashi had still been standing in place, staring at the insanely enthusiastic man grinning in flashes at the sky over their heads, when Gai had reached whatever number of blinded birds he'd set up as the goal for the match. Something was very wrong with the world. Kakashi was sure of it. Gai had problems, yes, quite a few of them, but he'd never thought up a competition as disturbing as that. And when he'd asked the still grinning man where he'd gotten the idea, Gai had laughed boldly and complimented him for being so modest about his wonderfully creative thought process.

Whatever had broken in his one-sided rival's head, it meant Kakashi had spent the better part of the day drawing strange stares from anyone in Konoha who recognized him. Which was everyone over the age of fifteen. He tried to console himself that it could have been worse. Gai had picked out a 'dashing' look that was 'gloriously perfect' for him. At least it wasn't green spandex. Considering the alternative, Kakashi supposed he should have been relieved that 'dashing' translated into nothing more than black and gray, a too loose coat, and clunky awkward shoes. He still wanted to know where the clothing had come from, why Gai had suddenly decided to penalize him for losing, and why he'd insisted he remove his hitaiate.

Kakashi hadn't gone along with the last order. He had a lot of patience when it came to Gai, more than most people, but he had to draw the line somewhere. The more people who looked askance at him, the more he wished he'd drawn it at the coat and shoes instead of the forehead protector.

Even the kids were staring at him. He'd barely gotten back from the training area Gai had picked for the day when he found himself being pointed at, whispered about, and actually stalked by kids ranging from six to ten years old. Really little kids. Not even genin. The ones accompanied by parents were hushed immediately, a few women blushing and flitting smiling glances at him, one man grimacing and cuffing his boy over the back of the head before dragging him in the other direction. And Konohamaru, the only kid Kakashi actually recognized, since he'd been so depressed and sullen since the funeral, was actually stalking him with a pair of scruffy looking sidekicks, all the time bristling and sending him deathglares until he rounded on them and they scattered like clumsy little leaves.

Then there was Asuma, who'd passed him on the street, done a double take, and asked if he'd already finished with that locked room plan. What did that mean? Kakashi might have considered asking if he hadn't spotted those three kids sneaking in his direction again, very badly hidden by what looked like an upsidedown cardboard box with rocky camouflage and eyeholes poked in it. That was the breaking point. He'd taken to the roofs then with the intention of avoiding populated areas for the rest of the day.

Sakura caught him two rooftops down, huffily demanding whether or not he'd finished with Sasuke, because he was going to be expecting her, she should have been there an hour ago, and why did he have to get Shikamaru to help him drag Naruto over there, anyway, when she was more than enough to pound some sense into the idiot, really. She didn't give him a chance to even consider asking for clarification for the bizarre complaint. Kakashi stood blinking slowly at her as she threw her hands up, growled in exasperation, and went off grumbling under her breath about how she should probably go back and get those flowers after all, and how she just knew Ino was overcharging her and that was the only reason she'd have told her about that lazy Shikamaru and stupid Naruto, and how did Ino hear about it so quick anyway, yeah people talked, but Ino always ended up hearing everything the second it happened and that just wasn't natural.

It was then that Kakashi realized something really was wrong with the world, or at least, something was really wrong with _Konoha_. And he had an idea it wasn't Gai's quirky fashion sense to blame for it all. The stares, maybe. Asuma, no. Sakura...yeah, no telling with her. Whatever it was, he wanted it over quickly, as painlessly as possible. He should have known better. Whatever it was, it involved his team. Pain was inevitable.

Despite his thrown state of mind, he reacted the moment he felt Naruto's, or rather, _Kyuubi's_ chakra explode. As strangely as the people he'd seen were behaving, he didn't want to imagine the sort of panic that would spread when the villagers recognized that energy. So he didn't knock Naruto out the second he saw him alone, wild, without a single enemy in sight to warrant the chakra he was emitting. He went with his instinct. Something was wrong, the kid was freaking, better to go along with him than to risk a confrontation right above populated streets. He took him to the hospital. And then he stood back and watched the male members of his team greet each other.

It was amusing and disturbing at the same time. That unrestrained energy puttered out the second they arrived in Sasuke's room. Naruto took three running steps toward Sasuke, who flinched and almost cringed back against the open window, and then they both froze and started in on each other like nothing was weird when, clearly, a lot of things were weird at the moment.

"D-dobe. What the hell's wrong with you?" asked Sasuke. His voice was too loud, his eyes too wide and wary, and he looked like he would have backed up if he hadn't already been standing against the wall.

"Shut up, stupid Sasuke-teme," Naruto sniffed. He stopped advancing, but his arms were still a little too high, his eyes a little too shiny, and his face twisted into a happy scowling mess.

Kakashi coughed on the sudden urge to laugh. Naruto had almost hugged him. Everyone in the room knew it, but the two boys were doing their damnedest to pretend otherwise. He didn't know what was funnier, Sasuke's cornered, horrified expression, or the way Naruto was trying so hard to act like he wasn't relieved to the point of grinning or crying or both at the same time.

"Well," Kakashi drawled, "It's nice to see you two getting along so well."

Naruto jerked and shot him a startled look that turned into a squinty eyed stare. "What's with the outfit...?"

Kakashi felt his face twitch beneath his mask. He ignored the question and gave his student a pointed look. "Naruto, wh-"

Naruto jumped as if he'd been pinched. "Oh! Lee! Kakashi-sensei! Something's wrong! Really, wrong - someone's attacking or something and there's three that-"

Kakashi started to cut him off, but Naruto stopped on his own. Stopped as suddenly as he'd started. It was as if his throat had closed up and choked the words halfway. He froze, his face turning ashy white, and then he let out a low moaning noise and his expression twisted into one of pure misery.

"T-two," Naruto groaned, in a thick voice, his eyes flying to Kakashi's. "Two! At the same time! Two more - just now! How could it could happen to two of them at once! Who's that's strong...? Kakashi-sensei..."

"Naruto," Kakashi started, seriously worried now. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Maa," an identical voice murmured from the open window, "this is awkward..."

.-.

Kakashi was in a good mood. Things had gone much easier than he'd thought they would after his first run in with Iruka that afternoon. It was disturbing to see the wary resentment in those eyes, the almost frigid way Iruka had held himself. As if they weren't even friends, much less lovers. He hadn't planned on that when he'd sought the familiar man out. It just seemed natural that his first stop - after leaving a note for Gai to find - be a visit to Iruka. They were both together in the same place again. If that wasn't a sign of entwined fates, he didn't know what was. True, Iruka hadn't greeted him as familiarly as he liked, but he could fix that. The kiss told him it was only a matter of time before they got together. More time than it should have taken, yeah, but still, just a matter of time. He knew for a fact that all Iruka had to do was return that favor and they'd be set for life. Fate was funny that way.

The kids were funny, too. He'd decided this was the place to harvest his group because he was already here - Iruka, too, which was a nice perk. His guess had proven perfectly accurate, which was only natural given his skill and experience. This place was ripe with young talent. And they all knew him so he didn't even have to try very hard to get them alone with him. Not that there hadn't been a few hiccups along the way.

Shikamaru had managed to not only catch him off guard, but he'd actually been forced to negotiate with the kid. That was rather embarrassing. He'd have to hold his end of the bargain, too, or Iruka would kill him later. Assuming he didn't kill him the second he went home anyway. But he wasn't going to think too much about that.

Neji had nearly gotten him caught. That was something he should have been expecting from the tense, wary way Iruka had looked at him earlier. Ninjas. Even the young ones could be twitchy and suspicious. Didn't like to be touched, which was unfortunate because it was so much easier to grab and bolt than it was to chase down and tackle in a hospital hallway where anyone might happen to see him. Twitchy suspicious kids were hard to keep hold of, too. He was more out of shape than he'd realized.

But aside from those two, he hadn't encountered any real resistance. The people here weren't the friendliest lot, but they were much better than those Sand guys. He'd almost lost an arm grabbing that one. Demons. One more thing he hadn't really planned for, one more thing that worked out better than he'd hoped for. He'd popped over there as soon as he was done with Lee, tried to surprise Gaara, and nearly had his fingers amputated by the kid's auto-sand-shield-thing. He definitely hadn't planned on that. Luckily for him even paranoid twitchy ninja kids were still just kids underneath it all. Gaara had recognized him, been calm enough to let him drop a few names - Lee, Sasuke, Naruto - and he'd calmed a lot more when he heard the last one. Calmed enough so he caught the little marble Kakashi tossed to him. Kids and shiny trinkets. It never failed.

And then he'd come for the last two only to find that, who'd have guessed, he was already with them. Awkward. Yeah, this was awkward. He'd expected to have trouble with the last ones, which was why he'd saved them for last. Naruto's demon had noticed him earlier. The energy the kid had let off was more than enough to encourage him to flit over and grab Gaara next instead of Sasuke. He'd meant what he said to Asuma about those two. Loyalty was very important. Not to mention part of Shikamaru's terms were that he not take one before the other. Really, that genius kid was kind of annoying.

But none of that mattered now. He lifted a hand in greeting and winked at the identical man standing across the room from him with a calm, "Yo."

Naruto flinched and gaped, Sasuke stepped back, and Kakashi shoved his forehead protector up and off his left eye. Across the room from him, Kakashi did the same thing with his blue cloth band. The two sharingan's spun and locked and Kakashi smiled widely and stepped into the room.

"I guess the game's up," he sighed, enjoying the way he was staring at himself. "I've come for the children. This one first."

He raised a slow hand in Sasuke's direction, almost grinning when the boy tensed as if he planned to counter rather than avoid. Naruto's reaction was better, probably because of that demon he had. Kakashi reminded himself to commend the kid for that later, for not trying to fight something unknown.

"Get back!" Naruto yelled at Sasuke, shoving him away from the Kakashi look-alike. "He can kill you in a second, teme!"

Sasuke glared and started to shove Naruto off, only to wince when the look-alike flicked something in his hand and a hot sensation tightened around his wrist. Naruto froze at the same moment, both of their eyes dropping to the silver metal locking their wrists together.

"Guess you don't have handcuffs here," Kakashi smiled at the two boys. "Don't worry, once you get used to working together, I'm sure we can take those off. In the meantime..."

He reappeared across the room, crouched behind the two stricken boys and dropped his hands on their shoulders before they could do more than flinch. He took one moment to nod at Kakashi before he took them, "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

**.-.  
****TBC**


	5. The Gathering V: Wrap Up

_The Gathering V_: Wrap Up

Kakashi was alone for nearly a minute before the look-alike came back. During that time he ran a quick comparison in his head. The stranger was thinner than him. The outfit masked that just enough so most people wouldn't notice right away. And the guy didn't have a scar to go with his sharingan. Aside from that, he hadn't seen anything to tell him what sort of trick was being used to make someone who looked so much like him. It wasn't an illusion and it wasn't henge. What did that leave?

There was no warning when the look-alike returned. No more than when he'd left. Kakashi thought he might have felt a slight displacement in the air, a pop that was felt rather than heard. It definitely wasn't a jutsu. There was no chakra being used. And now that he noticed, he realized he hadn't felt any chakra being used when the man took Sasuke and Naruto, either.

"Yo," the look-alike greeted, reappearing in the same place he'd been before. He beamed at Kakashi and waved a hand at his side, "I brought a familiar-" He blinked at the empty space beside him and the smile turned into a scowl. "Oi..."

"Who are you?" Kakashi asked, in a very controlled and quiet tone.

"Eh," the man blinked, glancing over for a second. Then he went back to scowling at the empty place. "I'm you, of course. That's a little hard to accept at first, so I brought someone else you'd recognize and doubt less. Only the brat seems to have skipped out on me somewhere. Maa...if he got lost I'll never hear the end of it..."

"What have you done with Naruto and Sasuke?" asked Kakashi.

"I borrowed them," the man said, in that annoyed and distracted tone. "Just give me a minute and I'll explain. He should be here any second now. He's a really good kid. Most of the time..."

Kakashi took a smooth step forward. He was well within killing distance when a loud crack sounded in the room and a dark-haired kid appeared right in front of him. The kid immediately stumbled into him and Kakashi caught his arms to keep him from falling face first.

"Ah!" the boy cried, in a light embarrassed tenor. "I'm sorry! I haven't had much experience with dimension hopping so I got a little lost. Did you wait long, Kaka-" And he glanced up, blinked at Kakashi, looked over at the look-alike, and blinked again. "Kakashi-sensei...? You didn't do anything bad, did you...?"

Kakashi recognized the boy instantly. How could he not? He looked exactly the same as he had the last time Kakashi had seen him. The long dark hair, the doe eyes, the blatant innocence on his too effeminate face. The only thing missing was the blood. Kakashi released him and took a sharp step back to put more distance between them.

"What is this?" asked Kakashi.

"You know him, right?" the look-alike smiled. "I thought things would go smoother if I brought along someone who isn't you." He patted a hand on the boy's shoulder, earning him a worried look. "Haku, this is the Kakashi in this dimension. You're so trustworthy, I thought you'd be a good choice to tell him about the school. I've borrowed some of their children and they're a bit upset about it."

"...I see," Haku said slowly. He ventured a glance at the other Kakashi, who was staring at him as if he were something horrible. "Ah, Kakashi-sensei," he murmured to the look-alike, "are you _sure_ I'm here, too?"

"You should be," the man frowned. He tilted his head at Kakashi. "You _do_ know him, right?"

"I killed him," said Kakashi.

Haku flinched, his eyes turning cold. "Why?"

"Really," the look-alike winced. "What's wrong with you? Iruka acts like we're not even friends, so I know you've never so much as hit on him. You've got students who are clearly suffering from unresolved sexual tension and you haven't even tried locking them in a room together. And you killed Haku? I knew there was something wrong with this dimension. I'm starting to think it's you."

"Kakashi-sensei," Haku said quietly, "I'm sure you...that is,_ he_...wouldn't have done something like that without good cause."

"See?" the look-alike glowered at Kakashi. "You killed the kid and he's still defending you. They don't make kids as tolerable as this one. There has to be something very wrong with you. Is it the ninja thing? Too much celibacy affecting your brain? You know, a little dolphin porn will fix that right up. Honestly, it's embarrassing to see a version of me as messed up as this."

Kakashi opened his mouth. He stood with it open for nearly a minute. Nothing came out.

"Let me tell him about the school," Haku said to the look-alike.

"Why are you so nice?" the man sighed. "He _killed you _in this dimension."

"That's why you brought me here," Haku shrugged. He turned back to Kakashi, his expression cool and impersonal. "We're from a dimension where magic is used. Among other things, this magic allows us to travel between worlds, times, and dimensions. My own world is different from the one Kakashi-sensei is from. In my world people with magical potential live in hiding, unable to tap or even understand their own strength for fear of being hunted and exterminated. Kakashi-sensei's school is a haven for such people. The professors there are from a variety of worlds, with a combined pool of knowledge that can tap and make the most of any inborn talent. That's where your children are."

He turned to the look-alike, his lips twitching into a frown, "Did you kidnap them?"

"_Borrowed_," the man frowned back. "I _borrowed_ them. He'll get them back."

"...I see," Haku sighed. He turned back to Kakashi, looking regretful and a tad guilty. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'm sure Kakashi-sensei would not have taken students from this dimension if they didn't show a great deal of potential. They'll return much better for the experience."

"When?" Kakashi asked sharply. He blinked when he realized his mouth was working again. "You can't just take them and expect us not to fight back. This is-"

"Maa," the look-alike drawled. "I'm not asking permission. You'll be grateful in the long run, anyway. The reason this realm was on our travel list is because there have already been travelers crossing from this dimension. Maybe you've met them. There has to be more to the ninja thing than just killing tolerable kids like Haku, here. A group of quiet guys, like to wear red and black robes, go around sticking their noses where they don't belong and killing people? A couple of them are pedophiles, if that helps."

Kakashi flinched. "Akatsuki."

"That's the one!" He beamed at Kakashi. "There are some aurors back home who've been meaning to have a talk with those guys. I expect they'll be disappointed when they find out I took two of their demons. I can drop by and talk with them myself, if it'll make you feel better. Let em know there's no reason to bother this town of yours for a while? I don't mind doing some favors in return for getting such a nice group of students."

"You need to speak to the Hokage," Kakashi said suddenly.

"Ah, no," the look-alike grimaced. "Don't tell me you're not in charge. Celibate, a kid killer, and you're not even in charge of the place? You're in dire need of tips on how to be a better me. This is humiliating..."

Kakashi glared and might have responded with something scathing if a third person hadn't joined the two strangers. This one came as silently as the doppelganger and was just as familiar. Kakashi barely flinched at the sight of yet another ghost. At least he hadn't killed this one.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" the man growled, grabbing the look-alike Kakashi by the throat and shaking him like a rag doll. "He's not old enough to apparate, let alone hop dimensions, and you damn well know it! He could have been splinched!"

Haku jumped and stopped just short of laying a hand on the furious man's arm. "Zabusa-san! Please don't kill Kakashi-sensei. I agreed to help him, and the school won't function if you kill the headmaster..."

"Ch, like one of the others couldn't replace him," Zabusa scoffed. "Lazy bastard." He dropped his burden and snapped a glare on Haku. "Don't agree to 'help' him again. You work for _me_."

Haku beamed and didn't so much as flinch when a heavy hand closed over the back of his neck. Zabusa flashed one more glare at the look-alike.

"A clean death's too good for you," Zabusa said, with a twisted smile. "I'll have a talk with Iruka instead."

The angry man disappeared silently, an obedient Haku in tow. A panicky look spread over the mask-wearing man who was left behind.

"Maa," he sighed, flashing a reluctant look at Kakashi. "I don't think I'll be going home for a while. Might as well go talk to this leader of yours. I suddenly have a great deal of time on my hands..."

_**.-.  
**__**TBC**_


	6. The Labyrinth I: Illustrations

_The Labyrinth I: _Illustrations

Naruto and Sasuke were not happy. They'd been transported to a dark six by six room and left there. The Kakashi look-alike had taken a moment to tell them to 'follow the instructions to get out' and to 'try not to kill each other' because the purpose of the lesson was to 'have fun' with their 'male bonding.' Naturally the volatile pair had whipped around in unison, intent to attack and maim. The man was already gone by the time they struck the floor, tangled by the chain binding them together.

The first logical step would be to investigate their prison, find out where they were and how they could make an escape as quickly as possible. In this case, logic took a back seat to the fact that there was only three inches of chain separating Naruto's right wrist from Sasuke's left wrist. Naruto immediately started attacking the chain with a kunai while Sasuke tried to restrain himself from using a chidori that would probably have taken off Naruto's arm along with the chain.

"What's this thing made of?" Naruto groaned.

He sent a panicky look from his chipped weapon to the flawless chain links. Already he could hear the faint chirping of birds, tiny flickers of silver reflecting off the dark metal chain. He sent a harried look at Sasuke, whose face was a pale shadow in the dark cell.

"Just wait," Naruto scowled. "Is chidori the only thing you can think of?"

"You have a better idea?" demanded Sasuke. They were crouched with their arms out and the chain taut to put as much space between them as possible. They were still close enough for him to see that Naruto's efforts were doing nothing besides ruining his kunai.

"Yeah I got a better idea," Naruto glowered. "Why don't you try helping me. It's not like I'm left-handed, you know!"

Sasuke glared more and stuck his right hand out. Naruto jerked back in surprise, nearly pulling Sasuke over on top of him.

"What the hell's wrong with you!" Sasuke snapped, with a rough jerk on their locked arms to remind the dobe why they'd been sitting so still to begin with.

"Me?" Naruto blurted. "You're the one trying to grab me!"

Sasuke glared and put his hand out again, slower this time. "If you want me to help, give me a weapon," he said scathingly. "Dobe."

Naruto bristled, as much at the tone as the order. "Use your own. What, you don't have a kunai?"

"I don't have shoes."

Sasuke twitched when Naruto blinked and stared down at his bare feet. He twitched again when Naruto snorted and made a comment about how his feet looked awfully cold. They were. He'd rather not be reminded of it. If he'd known he were going to be abducted from the hospital, he would have equipped himself for the trip.

"Stop staring at my feet," Sasuke bit out.

"I can't help it!" Naruto blurted, staring at the pale objects in question with a disgusted sort of fascination. "You've got finger-toes. I don't think I've ever seen those up close before..."

"That's it," Sasuke snapped.

He shot up and grabbed his left arm with his right hand. Naruto scrambled to his feet and leaned as far away as possible. The sudden rush of electrical chirps drowned out the blonde's protests. Naruto healed fast, anyway. A little dismemberment wouldn't kill him. Probably. The tight link circling his wrist was just starting to sizzle when a sudden tug had him overbalancing. He hopped twice to keep from falling over.

"Cut that out," Naruto scowled. "That's a last resort. Last. As in only after we've tried everything else. Got it? Besides, if you're gonna use that, at least have a clone do it. Like this."

He started to do a kage bunshin and glowered when Sasuke's rigid arm kept his right hand from rising higher than an inch. There was no way he could do the hand movements like that. "It won't kill you to cooperate."

"Says you," Sasuke grimaced. He grudgingly stepped close enough for Naruto to finish his hand seals.

"Okay!" Naruto grinned. He waved Sasuke back so the chain was exposed and tight between them. His clones formed a nice rasengen and he and Sasuke turned their faces away when the pair rushed the chain. Instead of the rough impact they'd braced themselves for, they heard duplicate poofing sounds. Naruto gaped at the bit of white smoke rising up over the chain. His clones had been dispelled the moment they touched it.

"What is this thing!" Naruto cried in frustration. He waved his arm up and down so the chain rattled. A very sharp pull from Sasuke's end had him stumbling to attention.

"Don't do that again," Sasuke snapped, referring to the juvenile arm-waving that he'd just unwittingly taken part in. "Do you have any other ideas?"

Naruto scowled back at him and went to fold his arms over his chest. His right arm rose four inches, pulling Sasuke's along with it, before he realized how awkward that would be. He let his arms drop and pointedly ignored the 'I'm chained to a dobe' stare Sasuke was giving him.

"Fine," Naruto scoffed, "whatever. Electrocute us both, if that's the best you can do. Just do it quick."

Sasuke ignored the mocking tone and focused on his left arm again. The chidori sparked silvery glints over the wall closest to him, highlighting what looked like murals of some sort. He ignored that, too. The more chakra he channeled into his arm, the tighter that silver link closed over his wrist. Naruto made a hissing noise beside him, grimacing at whatever currents were flowing through the chain. Then there was a bluish flash and Sasuke dropped as if his legs had been cut off at the knee. It wasn't until he saw Naruto's face right in front of his that he realized the last few minutes were a blank from the sudden backlash. And Naruto was rambling worriedly at him. Sasuke gave a weak glare in response.

"At least that mark's crawling down again," Naruto was saying, frowning at the left side of Sasuke's face. "I knew that was a bad idea. I mean, you were in the hospital a really long time, so you probably aren't supposed to do any jutsu, anyway. And if my clones can't even touch the thing, you know it's gotta be shielded by some kind of seal or something. Not that it really hurt, you know? It was more like running into a wall. Hard to breathe for a second there, right? It's not like you actually passed out or anything, you just stopped blinking. Or moving and breathing and-"

"Shut up," Sasuke muttered crossly.

Naruto blinked and snorted in amusement. "I knew it. That just knocked you for a loop, eh? Asshole."

Sasuke pushed himself up, resisting the urge to rub a hand on his shoulder where the cursed seal was throbbing nastily. His head felt thick, as if he'd just used up most of his chakra instead of just a small burst. Whatever was shielding that chain, it seemed as immune to 'inside' attacks as it was to outside ones. And it was 'whatever' because he'd gotten a good look at the restraints with his sharingan and there wasn't the slightest hint of chakra in the metal.

"We should focus on getting out of here," said Sasuke. "We can worry about the chain later."

Naruto rolled his eyes. As if Sasuke hadn't been just as eager to get the thing off as he'd been. He turned his attention on the empty cell. It was as doorless as it had been a few minutes ago. The only thing in the place was a small unlit torch set into the corner at eye level. Naruto took two steps toward it and growled in annoyance. Stupid taut chain. Stupid stubborn Sasuke.

"How about you walk over there with me so we can get some light to see by," Naruto said, shooting a frustrated grin over his shoulder.

Sasuke passed him without so much as a glance. He lit the torch and started walking around the confines of the room. Naruto glowered and followed a step behind and to the left of him. They circled the square room three times before Sasuke finally came to a stop in the front left corner of the room. The odd sparkly gray-blue rock wall here was cracked in what might have been a doorway. Might have been, if not for the complete lack of hinges. Aside from that one piece of wall, the room was seamless. And decorated with painted murals.

Naruto stared more at the illustrations than the possible doorway. "I swear I've seen that one before," he muttered suspiciously, pointing at the large painting to their right. "In one of Jiraiya's books."

Sasuke gave him a sidelong look and reluctantly glanced over the painting. It was poorly done. The scantily clad woman's legs were almost three times as long as her torso, and the man's hands were bigger than her head. The theme of the illustration was the same as all the others in the room. The man was kissing the woman and petting her hair. What little clothing they had on could have been from Konoha, but Sasuke doubted Jiraiya had taken up prison painting in his spare time.

"What's your point?" asked Sasuke. He was more interested in figuring out how the door worked than appreciating the would-be pornographic decor of the place.

"Think about it," Naruto muttered, still squinting at that one illustration. "That guy looked like Kakashi and he brought us to a place covered in stuff right out of Kakashi's books. It's gotta mean something."

"All it means is our captor did his research when he picked Kakashi as his cover," Sasuke said absently. He motioned for Naruto to step back. "See if your clones fair better against this door than they did the chain."

Naruto glanced over and smirked. Sasuke wasn't so much as looking at him. Of course he had to ask him to do it. Sasuke probably couldn't even do one of his heavy fire jutsu right now without that creepy seal crawling over half his face. Which wasn't really something Naruto wanted to see again so soon after the last time. He stopped smirking and formed the hand seals for another kage bunshin. He didn't bother with a rasengen this time. The moment one of his clones touched the surface of that door it poofed into smoke. He went ahead and further tested that little theory by having another of the clones try touching the chain with the same results.

"Definitely a seal," Sasuke sighed, glaring at the door. He'd activated the sharingan just long enough to see what happened when Naruto's clones made contact with the surface. Nothing. No conflicting chakra, no signs of whatever was repelling the clones. Not even one of those pale blue flashes.

"I'll try rasengen on it," Naruto scowled. "Can't hurt to try, even if it probably won't work."

Sasuke nodded and moved with him back toward the center of the room. This time there was a definite spark and resistance, the spinning ball of chakra hitting the door long before the clones made contact. And the clones didn't just poof out peacefully. Naruto reeled the second they were destroyed. Sasuke's stance on the other side of the chain was the only thing keeping him from being thrown halfway across the room.

"It's like being rebounded," Naruto blurted. He winced and straightened up again, his head all fuzzy and numb. "Like getting hit by a really hard wind out of nowhere."

"It's not chakra," Sasuke said slowly. His sharingan was activated again. The cursed seal didn't seem to mind this time. "There's some kind of energy protecting it, shielding it, but it's not chakra. As long as it's energy, we should be able to overpower or cut through it."

Naruto grimaced, shooting him a sharp look. "You're not thinking of trying the chidori again, are you? I swear, if you pass out this time - even if it gets the door open - I'm not gonna carry you. I'll just drag you behind me by this chain."

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered. If he did pass out, he'd much rather be dragged than carried. Especially by Naruto. "Instead of using clones, do the rasengen yourself. I'll do chidori at the same time. We use our right and left hands and aim at the door simultaneously. If it's not enough, nothing we try will be. If nothing else, maybe the combined chakra will cut through the chain."

Naruto complied, doing his best not to pay attention to the fact that he could still feel the chidori through that chain. It was like sticking his arm into a cold pool full of sharp little needles. Really difficult to concentrate. It got worse when he spotted those telltale black and red squiggly marks out of the corner of his eye. They were crawling right up the side of Sasuke's face. He maintained the rasengen in his hand, dispelled the clones he'd used to help him form it, and grimaced a little.

"Um, Sasuke..."

"Ignore it," Sasuke said tightly. The cuff was already starting to tighten around his wrist, ready to break his jutsu as sharply as it had before. They'd have to attack before that happened. "Ready?"

"Yeah," said Naruto, "okay. Ready."

They attacked together, one of those rare displays that proved they were capable of teamwork, however much they disliked having to resort to it. Their attacks were met with instant resistance. And a strange thing happened to the 'door'. The surface wavered as if it were made of water, pale blue and gray and smaller silvery bits sparkling beneath the surface. Then it exploded.

Naruto woke up first. He assumed he'd been asleep because he didn't remember landing on the other side of the room. His right shoulder had a loose, grating, and painfully liquid feel to it. He'd hit the wall with it and his body couldn't exactly heal itself when one of the joints wasn't in the socket like it was supposed to be. There was blood in his mouth, and the right side of his face felt numb and sticky.

He rocked toward his knees, trying to get up without moving his arm too much. Sasuke was crumpled beside him. The marks were gone from his face, replaced by a heavy trail of blood that was already starting to thicken and darken. They'd definitely been out for a while. Sasuke grimaced and shifted when Naruto's movements pulled their linked arms.

"Still alive?" Naruto muttered. He grimaced at the blood in his mouth. He must have bitten his tongue or something. The cut had already healed. It was his arm that he had to worry about. "I dislocated my shoulder," he told Sasuke, in a conversational tone. "How about you?"

Sasuke grunted and rolled so his legs were bent under him. He remained that way, curled forward with his forehead resting on his right arm. Clearly he wasn't interested in talking at the moment. Naruto sighed and winced at his arm again.

"I'm going to have to get up to fix it," Naruto continued. "Push it back into the socket or something. So if you got any broken bones, you might as well tell me before I start jarring you and making them worse."

Sasuke muttered something that was too long to be a simple 'dobe.' Naruto figured it was an 'usuratonkachi.' Those were typically reserved for occasions where Sasuke thought he was being more idiotic than usual. Naruto rolled his eyes. Then he winced because the eye roll had hurt.

"I must have hit my head pretty hard, too," Naruto grimaced. He ran his left hand over his numb cheek. It came away with sticky drying blood all over it. "Yep, definitely hit it. I wonder how hard that fucking thing threw us..."

Sasuke groaned and muttered louder this time. "Shut up, usuratonkachi. Just shut up for a minute."

Naruto glowered down at him. He did stop talking, though. He wiped his sticky hand on his pants and started tentatively prodding his shoulder. It was creepy. He could feel the hollow where it should have been connected. Wasn't that supposed to hurt more? He could still feel his arm. He could move his fingers too, but it was weird, numb and slow. The fact that it didn't hurt more was starting to make his stomach churn. He turned a nasty glare on the door. So much for busting their way out. The thing didn't have so much as a scratch on it.

That was when he noticed the torch was still as bright as it had been earlier. He turned to mention that to Sasuke - particularly the fact that the thing wasn't giving off any smoke, since they would have noticed that in this seemingly air tight little room. He blinked when he found Sasuke glowering at him. There really was a lot of blood on the left side of his face, more matting in the hair near his temple. And his left arm was almost black with bruises from his wrist to his elbow.

"You look like shit," Naruto winced.

"You're one to talk," Sasuke muttered. "Is your shoulder really dislocated?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Sasuke sighed. He pushed himself up slowly, careful not to shift their linked arms. "You hit the wall first," he admitted, in a grudging, almost resentful tone. "You're lucky your shoulder took most of the impact. It sounded like a bone being snapped in half."

"I don't even remember getting thrown," Naruto admitted sheepishly. "Last thing I remember is thinking the door looked like it was an illusion, watery, not solid anymore."

"Mm," Sasuke nodded, slowly, since his head was pounding fit to explode. "This will hurt," he said by way of warning. He immediately took hold of Naruto's wrist and shoulder and jerked one second before shoving him back hard enough to make his head snap against the wall.

"Shit!" Naruto cried out, rubbing his abused head. "You're supposed to knock me out **before** you do it, not during!"

"Sorry," said Sasuke. His bland tone didn't sound the least bit sorry. He released his hold and frowned at Naruto's shoulder. "Better?"

"Eh?" Naruto scowled. He was too distracted by the ringing in his ears to realize what Sasuke was talking about at first. A jab on his aching shoulder reminded him. He swatted Sasuke's hand away with a glower. "Yeah, better, thanks a lot. Stop touching it."

Sasuke sunk back on his knees. He prodded lightly at the matted hair on the left side of his head. The cut was crusting over with too much swelling to tell if the bone was cracked beneath it. He'd assume it wasn't. He didn't feel like he'd suffered brain damage. Naruto was still as annoying as ever. A brain damaged person would probably enjoy that. He grimaced at his hand and sent a slow look at Naruto.

"Do you have any bandages?" he asked. "Rags?"

"No," Naruto frowned. He looked at the dark stain he'd made wiping blood on his pants. No way would he have done that if he'd had rags handy.

"Your jacket, then," said Sasuke.

Naruto's head snapped up so fast he groaned at the throbbing pain, mentally smacking himself even as he glared at Sasuke. "No way are you cutting up my jacket for bandages. They don't even make these anymore! Do you know how long I've had this jacket?"

"Way too long," Sasuke grimaced. "And of course they don't make them anymore. You're the only one stupid enough to wear one."

"Whatever," Naruto glared. "It's mine and I like it. You want to cut something up, use your-" He looked at Sasuke, who had nothing but the shirt and shorts he'd been wearing at the hospital, and his forehead protector, which was hanging loose around his neck, the cloth frayed and stained with blood. He promptly closed his mouth, a dash of guilt mixing with his annoyance.

"Well," sighed Naruto, "I do have a t-shirt you could use. It'd be easier to cut up, anyway." And no amount of guilt and sympathy was going to make him mutilate his jacket. Finding orange clothing was next to impossible. Finding orange clothing that actually fit him **was** impossible. He was wearing the only set he hadn't outgrown in the last two years.

"Forget it," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes tiredly. "We don't have any water, anyway. I take it that's already healed?" He waved at Naruto's head.

Naruto blinked in surprise. He'd only really started noticing how quickly he healed recently. He hadn't realized Sasuke knew about it, too. He ran a hand over his face. Still sticky and gross with blood, and his cheek felt tender and more numb than anything, as if the skin were newly grown. Oh, there was a thought. Maybe that was how he'd gotten so much blood in his mouth. He grimaced and squirmed as his stomach flipped over.

"Mostly," Naruto admitted, not looking at Sasuke. "Feels like I got half my face rubbed off or something. I had blood in my mouth when I came to..."

"That was me."

Naruto whipped around in surprise. Now Sasuke was the one not looking at him. "What do you mean it was you?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

"It was either the chakra or chidori," Sasuke admitted darkly. He didn't mention that the chakra in question had come more from the curse mark than him by then. "I got knocked into you when we were thrown back, before we hit the wall. Think of a cheese grater. You're lucky you didn't lose an eye."

"Shit!" Naruto gaped. So much for him feeling guilty. Then again, in a half hour he wouldn't have a mark on him, while Sasuke would still be bruised and bloody. It evened out. And it wasn't like he'd done it on purpose. Right? Yeah, even Sasuke wouldn't go mutilating him just for the hell of it. At least not when they were actually trying to work together for once. Naruto shrugged and tried not to imagine what his face must have looked like. Cheese grater. Yeah. He didn't want to think about that.

"Whatever," Naruto sighed, waving a hand. "At least we know better than to try busting our way out of here now. Force is no good. But that door definitely looked like it wasn't solid for a second there. So there's gotta be a way to get it open. A trick, maybe. Like the way that torch is still burning as much as ever without letting out any smoke. And there's no ventilation in here but we aren't running out of air."

Sasuke blinked at those astute observations. Sometimes Naruto surprised him. He was glad it didn't happen too often. Just the thought that Naruto had noticed things he'd missed made his head hurt. He must have cracked it harder than he'd thought.

"A trick," Sasuke murmured, looking around the room. "That guy did say to 'follow the instructions' to get out. So instead of a prison, maybe this is just...a distraction. A way to slow us down and keep us occupied."

"But there aren't any instructions here," Naruto scowled. He wanted to start circling the room again, just so he wouldn't feel so restless. There was no point walking around. They'd already done that and there wasn't anything to see but the torch and the door.

"And the perverted paintings," Naruto muttered quietly.

Sasuke stiffened and leaned forward suddenly. He prodded impatiently when Naruto was slow to follow. "Get up. Move to the center of the room, dobe."

"Stop calling me that, teme," Naruto scowled. He got up and moved, anyway. "What did you find out?"

Sasuke turned a dark sneer on Naruto, directing his attention to that one illustration the boy had pointed out earlier. "What's the theme here? He picked Kakashi to mimic. What 'instructions' would these paintings have if Kakashi were the one who'd arranged them like this?"

"Um," Naruto frowned. The one with the half naked guy and girl was easy. He could swear it was taken right off the cover of an Icha Icha novel. The one to the right featured the same thing, all the way down to the way they were petting each other's hair. The only difference from the first was that this one featured two women, and they had a lot more clothes on. The one to the left featured two guys, same pose, also more modestly dressed. And behind them was a group shot of all three couples, copied right from their individual murals and put onto a fire-lit background. What was the theme? Naruto gave a slow look around the room and then raised an eyebrow at Sasuke. "Masturbation?"

Sasuke twitched, looking exasperated and a little disturbed. "Kissing, usuratonkachi."

"Oh," Naruto blinked. He looked around the room again. "Yeah, that's what they're all doing. So what does that have to do with the door?"

"Look at the torch," Sasuke told him. "The floor right in front of it."

Naruto turned, squinting at the shadowy floor. The torch cast golden brown shadows on the surface - the same gray-blue rock the entire cell was made out of. But there was something smoother about the spot right in front of the corner. A circular patch that looked more worn than the rest of the floor. Naturally Sasuke would spot that. Even though Naruto was the one who'd noticed how weird the torch was in the first place.

He looked from that curious spot to Sasuke. He wanted to put it together before the jerk explained it to him in that condescending way he had. It was a way to get the door open. It had to do with that spot on the floor and the illustrations on the walls. They were instructions to follow in order to get out of the room. The theme was kissing. And that spot on the floor. To get out. Naruto blinked. One more clue. Sasuke was looking as if he'd just bitten into something sour that he'd been force fed by someone he had nothing but contempt for.

"No way," Naruto said slowly, his face twitching oddly as if he wanted to grin and grimace at the same time. "And you actually want to try that? You're that convinced it'll work?"

"I don't** want **to," Sasuke snapped, bristling and leaning as far away as the chain allowed. "And, yes, I'm convinced it will work. Do you honestly think I'd even consider trying it if I wasn't?"

"I don't know," Naruto drawled, enjoying the hell out of Sasuke's expression. "Maybe you got a liking for the taste last time. It has been a while, eh?"

Sasuke made a sputtering sound. Then he lunged. Naruto jumped back and caught his fist before he could get clobbered or knocked over.

"Hey!" Naruto blurted, still grinning. "No hitting! That's not in the instructions. And we're already banged up enough as it is." Besides that, Sasuke's head must have still hurt because he wasn't nearly as deadly as usual, despite the absolute rage and disgust on his face.

"Ramen," Sasuke growled through his teeth. "First thing in the morning and you tasted like ramen. It took me an hour to wash that out of my mouth."

"Yeah?" Naruto glared back. "Well at least I tasted like something. What, do you just skip breakfast? All you tasted like was...Sasuke-mouth. Almost made my poor delicious ramen come right back up."

They glared at each other, alternately growling a little. Naruto was the first to notice how close together they were standing. Close enough that they could have followed the 'instructions' and been out of the room already. Last time had been pretty quick, albeit extremely disturbing. He'd had a lot more to complain about than Sasuke, too, since he'd had to deal with the girls attacking him on top of the weird Sasuke-taste in his mouth. It was bound to be quicker and less painful in an empty cell.

"Let's just do it," Naruto glowered. "Come on, teme. You can be happy, too, because I haven't had any ramen all day. I've been broke as hell without any missions lately. If I taste like anything, it'll be blood. And that's your fault, anyway."

Sasuke glared back, walking over to stand in the smooth circular patch. He growled when Naruto made to mimic the people in the murals. "Wait till I fix my forehead protector."

"Why?" Naruto blinked. Not that he had a problem with Sasuke wanting to fix it. That comment just made him sound like a girl worrying about her appearance. They weren't exactly doing this because they wanted to, right?

"Because," Sasuke said, slowly, condescendingly, with a tone of usuratonkachi that remained unspoken. "If we're going to mimic the illustrations we have to touch each other's hair." He tightened the forehead protector, grimacing a little when it pulled snug over the swelling on his left side. "You touch this wound and I'll probably bite your tongue off. Blood is one thing. If I swallow a part of you I'll kill myself."

"B-bastard," Naruto gaped. He suddenly wanted to burst out laughing at Sasuke's expression. But the threat Sasuke had just made against his poor innocent tongue was too disturbing. It made him think of something else. Yeah, maybe he **had** been spending too much time with Ero-sennin. "Just - just shut up so we can get this over with."

Sasuke stepped forward and lifted his arms, his right hand going into Naruto's hair, his left to his shoulder. Naruto did the mirror opposite, surprised to notice how the chain as just long enough to allow that. Now came the kissing. Sasuke twitched. Naruto grimaced. They were glaring at each other as they inched their faces closer together. None of the people in the murals had been glaring. What if they had to look like they were enjoying themselves? All of the people in the illustrations had their eyes closed, too.

Naruto froze, his face so close that Sasuke felt his breath and twitched again. "Hey," Naruto muttered. "Close your eyes."

"Why?" Sasuke snapped.

"Because all the people in the pictures have theirs closed," Naruto scowled. "I'm closing mine, too."

Sasuke continued to stare at him, unwilling to close his first. Naruto growled and closed his own eyes. A few seconds later he peeked. Sasuke's eyes were closed. His brows were still drawn, but he didn't look nearly as bad with his eyes closed. At least they wouldn't be staring in shock at each other like last time.

Naruto closed his eyes and leaned forward. Lips. Okay. He remembered this a lot more clearly than he liked to admit. The only difference was their mouths were closed this time. He'd seen enough kissing in real life, and illustrations, to know when tongues were involved. He squirmed and opened his mouth. Sasuke did not do the same. Asshole. This was his idea in the first place. What, did Sasuke expect him to do all the work again? It wasn't like he had a clumsy classmate to shove him from behind this time. He pressed forward a little harder and Sasuke twitched. Then he opened his mouth.

Blood. Sasuke was glad to note that Naruto hadn't been lying about that. He didn't like the taste of blood any more than ramen, but at least blood was neutral. He hadn't been able to eat ramen since their last kiss without remembering that ramen was the flavor of Naruto. A very disturbing thought. He'd sworn off ramen every since. Still, even with the neutral taste, there was still the wet tongue touching his. And this time he didn't have the shock factor to keep his mouth from snapping shut. He twitched again. How long did they have to do this? And was it just his imagination or was Naruto standing closer to him now? The couples in the illustrations hadn't been touching each other this much. He could feel Naruto's pants against his bare legs. That had to be closer than necessary. He swore, if that dobe was-

A whooshing sound came from behind them. Naruto and Sasuke sprang apart immediately. The chain caught them in the middle of their opposing lunges and tugged them back so they almost fell right back into a kiss as accidental as their first one. They caught themselves just in time to prevent that. Then they were gagging and spitting and sending hateful glares at the now open door. Whoever that Kakashi-impersonator was, he had a lot of pain coming his way. Soon.

_**.-.  
**__**TBC**_


	7. The Labyrinth II: Kisses

**Notes:** People have asked about the ages of the Naruto kids. They're still genin, but I always thought they looked 15 as genin and 18 after the time skip. So for this fic they graduated from the academy at 15 instead of 12.

**Warnings:** boys kissing, obviously, bits of NaruSasu, GaaraSasu, and GaaraNaru (sort of)

**A New School of Magic**

_The Labyrinth II:_ Kisses

There was a wall directly outside the door with an unlit removable torch in the corner, and a narrow path leading to the left. Sasuke lit the torch with a simple fire jutsu and lifted it. The walls of the tunnel were the same bluish gray rock like substance as the room. Naruto grimaced at the gloom. The torch didn't light more than three feet in front and behind them.

"We're underground?" asked Naruto. It didn't smell like it. There was nothing earthy or dusty in the air. But it was cooler in the tunnel-hall than it had been in the room. He glanced back and jumped. "We won't be going back in there."

Sasuke turned as well. The wall where the door had been was now solid stone. There weren't even crevices outlining the doorway. They were now standing in the corner of a dead end tunnel three feet wide that led only in one direction. He lifted the torch over their heads to illuminate the ceiling. A mere two feet above their heads, as seamless as if the tunnel had been carved out of solid rock.

"First time I've been glad not to be taller," Naruto muttered. He eyed that low ceiling. The room had been just as small, but it hadn't seemed nearly as claustrophobic as this narrow little tunnel.

"Let's go," said Sasuke. It was more of a warning than an invitation. He started down the hall, the chain forcing Naruto to follow along.

The tunnel bent sharply to the left again, into a very short hall, before arching a ways and ending in a sharp right hand turn. They followed it straight for a few steps. Then they stopped at an intersection. Sasuke moved the torch so it lit the path leading to the right, and then the one that continued straight. There were no footprints, no displaced dust, nothing to tell which direction was used most often. Naruto jerked on his arm suddenly.

"We go right," said Naruto. "Put your hand on the right wall and follow it out."

Sasuke gave him a skeptical stare. "Where did you hear that?"

"Everyone knows that," Naruto scoffed. "If you're lost in the woods you go straight, if you're lost in a maze you go right. It's common sense."

Going right repeatedly sounded like a very good way to go in circles. Sasuke would have pointed that out, but it probably wasn't worth the effort. His head hurt and arguing with Naruto was a waste of breath. He sent one more look at the straight path and raised his left hand.

"Kunai," said Sasuke. "I'll see if we can mark the stone in case we get turned around and forget which way we came when we double back."

"We're not gonna double back," Naruto scowled. He handed his chipped kunai over, anyway. He was curious to see if it could actually make a mark on the stone out here any better than it had the chain earlier.

Sasuke took one step into the straight path and scraped the kunai across the wall. The metal sparked silver glints over the stone. The scratched arrow was spiderweb thin, but clearly visible if they were looking for it. He turned back and made another mark on the right path, an x this time. They probably wouldn't end up going in a circle considering they'd started out at a dead end. He did it just in case.

"Happy now?" Naruto taunted impatiently. "I'm telling you, we're not gonna double back. And if we do, I'll just start using a bunshin to check for dead ends."

Why hadn't he thought of that? Sasuke frowned, wondering exactly how hard he'd hit his head earlier. "Do that now. Send one down each path. There may be traps in here." And far better to have a bunshin set one off than to walk into it themselves.

Naruto didn't fail to notice that Sasuke made no attempt to create a clone himself. His feeling of superiority poofed out as quickly as the bunshin he created. He tensed, tried again, and again, and still couldn't get one to materialize fully before it poofed. He bristled in embarrassment, "Shut up! You try it, if you think you can do better!"

"I didn't say anything," Sasuke remarked blandly. "And there's no point in my trying." If Naruto's kage bunshin couldn't maintain its form, then his own clones wouldn't fair any better. Something was preventing it. So they'd be forced to explore themselves? That certainly supported the idea of this being a distraction to waste their time and energy.

Sasuke started down the right path without a word, tugging to make Naruto follow. He didn't have to put his hand on the wall. The path led them into two more sharp rights and then a series of short tunnels heading vaguely to the left. It wasn't until they reached the dead end Sasuke had expected from the very first that he spoke.

"You were saying?" Sasuke drawled.

"Oh, shut up," Naruto glared. He tensed his right arm and all but drug Sasuke the last few steps toward the shadowy dead end. He was hoping for a door, a set of stairs, anything that would mean Sasuke hadn't been right all along. He touched the solid wall. And that torch sparked so suddenly Sasuke thrust it away from his face. The wall in front of them shimmered in response.

"I knew it!" said Naruto. He sent a triumphant look at Sasuke. The seemingly blank wall was now decorated with the same mural illustration as the back of the room they'd just come from. And there was a holder in the corner for the torch. "Put it in there," he waved smugly. "How much do you wanna bet there'll be a circle on the floor here?"

Sasuke forced his expression to remain bland as he put the torch in the holder. As long as it was a way out, it didn't matter who'd been right. He still didn't like listening to Naruto brag.

They stepped back so the firelight fell on the floor. Sure enough, it illuminated another of those smooth circles, set right in front of the mural. Naruto grinned and put his hands on his hips in a bragging pose. His grin faltered just as quick. He kept forgetting the chain pulled Sasuke's arm right along with his. And Sasuke was giving him another of those 'I can't believe I'm chained to a dobe' looks. Naruto sniffed at him and dropped his arms to his side. Sasuke was just jealous.

"You do realize this means we have to kiss again," Sasuke said in a scathing tone. Any remaining smugness dropped from Naruto's face. He was relieved. For a second there Naruto had looked far too happy to see that mural.

With a resentful grimace, Naruto assumed the position. Then he swore never to so much as think that phrase in relation with Sasuke ever again. He cursed Ero-sennin in his head all through the kiss, and when he didn't feel quite as inclined to gag afterward, he passed it off as a mark of being a good ninja. A good ninja was supposed to get numb if the torture was the same every time. That was the whole point of training, after all. Sasuke, who was gagging as much as last time, had a long way to go before he'd be as good a ninja as him. Hah.

Again, his feeling of superiority didn't last long. All it took was a quick look around. They weren't in the hallway anymore. They were in a very familiar-looking room. The same room, apparently, because there were smears of blood along the far wall where they'd landed. And the door was closed. Sasuke was sending him a withering glare. Naruto tensed and almost spat his irritation, "Shut up! This is not my fault! Damn it!"

"We go right," mocked Sasuke. "We're not going to double back."

"Shut up! Just get over here so we can get the door open."

"You better not be enjoying this..."

"Oh, sure," scoffed Naruto. "I'd rather kiss Kakashi-sensei than you!"

A moment of highly disturbed silence followed. Sasuke felt his stomach roil, threatening to lurch up into his mouth. Naruto didn't look much better.

"I take it back," Naruto whispered.

"Yeah," Sasuke said, just as faint. He shook the sick feeling off forcefully. "This is a mission. To get out of this place. That's all."

"Of course!"

"As quickly as possible."

"Right!"

They didn't look at each other before or after the kiss. And while there was no gagging as they made their way out of the newly opened door, there was a heavy discomfort hanging over both of them as each imagined being in this situation chained to Kakashi instead. Sasuke was thinking that even Sakura would be better than that. Naruto wasn't thinking at all because he was still convinced there were bloated fish lips hiding under Kakashi's mask and the thought of those pressing his mouth made him feel weak and scared. This situation was weird and bad, but it could have been so much worse.

The unlit torch was back in its place just outside the door, which again vanished the second they lit the torch. The only proof that they'd already traversed the tunnel were the scratches Sasuke had made at the intersection. He added a slash to the mark on the straight path, turning it into an 'x' and adding a doubled arrow. The tunnel continued for what felt like hours. It led them in pointless meanderings vaguely to the right, and then what might have been down before branching in another intersection. This time the paths were right and left. Again, Naruto attempted and failed to make a bunshin to check the paths for them.

"Right again?" Sasuke muttered. He was too tired to bother with sarcasm. He'd already decided that if they ended up in that room again, he was going to stay there and rest until his head stopped throbbing every time he blinked.

"We could go left," Naruto offered, his tone just as lifeless. He didn't like the way Sasuke was leaning on the wall with that listless expression on his face. His shoulder was still hurting, and his face was as tender as before. That, along with the silence from Kyuubi, made him wonder if something had happened to the fox when they'd arrived here. Or maybe something had happened to his chakra after that blow up in the room. He should have been completely healed by now. "Right didn't do much good last time."

"Not your fault."

If Naruto hadn't already been sort of worried about the asshole, he would have started now. "You're not gonna pass out on me, are you? Because I wasn't kidding about dragging your ass!"

"You wish," Sasuke sniffed. He pushed off the wall and made the same marks as before, an 'x' for the path they'd come from, a slash for the left path, and another 'x' for the right. "As long as the marks stay, we might as well be consistent and keep going right." He didn't mention that his head was too fuzzy for him to draw a picture of the maze in his head. He should have been able to keep track of where they were in relation to the room they'd started from. As it was, he didn't know whether the room was above, below, left, right, or even on the same level as them. Parts of the tunnel had seemed more elevated than others. He was completely turned around. He almost hoped they did end up back in the room. He wanted to lie down for a while. He couldn't think clearly like this.

The path took them up and then windingly down before ending abruptly. Another mural, another kiss, and they were back in a room identical to the last one. Naruto was just making up his mind to groan, and Sasuke to take a nap, when they noticed the differences. The size and decorations of this room was the same as the original one. But there was no blood near the far wall. And there were two familiar people sitting near the door who definitely hadn't been in the original room. Naruto realized why Kiba was gaping at him like that and turned a furious red.

"It's not what you think! I had to kiss him! It's not like I wanted to!"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered.

"Really!" Naruto continued, rushing toward Kiba and Shino, desperate to defend himself. "We had to kiss to get the door open and then there was a dead end, so we had to do it to get here! It was the only way - using force didn't work!"

Kiba grimaced, "You kissed him _twice_?"

Shino, who'd deciphered the 'trick' of the room almost immediately, sent a veiled look at his teammate. "I told you a kiss would open the door."

"No way in hell," Kiba shuddered. He shot a wild look at the black glasses hiding Shino's eyes and squeezed Akamaru till the puppy whimpered. He knew where all those bugs of Shino's lived and there was no way, no way in hell. He respected his teammate, even sort of liked him now and then because he could be funny in his own weird way, but the thought of those bugs just...no way in hell. "Stop talking about it."

"How long have you two been in here?" asked Sasuke. "Did you learn anything from our captor?"

"Just that he's crazier than everyone says," Kiba spat, eager to talk about something less disturbing. "Why the hell did your team leader snatch us, anyway?"

"That wasn't really Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said quickly. "We were with the real Kakashi-sensei when he showed up. It was definitely an imposter!"

"He didn't say anything to you?" Sasuke prodded, looking at Shino. "Anything at all?"

"Nothing useful," said Shino. "We've been in here for a little under two hours now."

Kiba finally noticed how close the two were standing and why. "How come you're chained together?"

"How come you're not?" Naruto shot back with a pinched scowl. "That's not fair!"

"Did you get injured during the capture?" asked Shino. He'd been training when Kiba had shown up with the apparent imposter, so he went through his supplies now. There wasn't enough water to wash the two off, but he had plenty of bandages.

"We tried to bust our way through the door," said Naruto. "Didn't work. At all."

By the time the two boys had used up both of Shino's rolls, they'd compared stories and arrived at the conclusion that the imposter must have been wandering around Konoha for a while before snatching them. They'd also concluded that staying in the room any longer than necessary was a bad idea. That meant two of them were going to have to kiss.

"You two do it!" Naruto yelled, pointing at Kiba and Shino. "It's only fair!"

"No way in hell," said Kiba. "You've already kissed him twice, what's one more time?"

"Three times," Shino commented, "if you include their kiss in the academy."

Sasuke glowered, not mentioning that they'd actually kissed five times all together. Once to get out of the room, once to get back in, once to get out again, and once to get here. If he included that accidental first kiss, he'd had enough of kissing his teammate to last a lifetime. He sent a considering look at the two boys standing opposite him. Kiba he couldn't stand, a mutual dislike that stemmed from his own distaste and the loud mouth's abrasive Naruto-like personality. Shino he found disturbing, though he didn't know him well enough to have a good reason. He'd heard rumors of the boy's bug usage, otherwise they were virtual strangers. If he continued thinking of this as a mission, detached and impersonal, a stranger was an improvement over someone he couldn't stand.

"I'm not doing it again!" Naruto wailed. It was one thing to do it because he had to, when it was just him and Sasuke completing the mission, with all the reluctant acceptance to numb the torture. Doing it with an audience? In front of Kiba, who'd never let him hear the end of it?

"Let's get this over with," said Sasuke. "I'm not such a child I'd rather stay here and whine about it."

Naruto bristled at the insult. It wasn't until he saw Shino nod and move toward the circle in the corner of the room that he realized Sasuke hadn't meant him. He panicked, using the chain to keep his teammate from taking another step. "Wait! You can't kiss_ him_!"

Sasuke glared at the chain, which pulled tightly enough to hurt through the bandages he'd wrapped his arm in. "Why?"

"Because!" Naruto said quickly. "He uses bugs! Didn't you see him fight in the-" No, he realized, Sasuke hadn't seen Shino in combat during the exam. Sasuke had fought first and been taken off by Kakashi afterward. "He uses bugs!" he said again. "_Bugs!_"

Of all the ridiculous- "I don't care," Sasuke snapped. "Kiba uses a _dog_."

"Hey!" yelped Kiba.

"I want out of this place," continued Sasuke. "Unless you want to kiss _him_," and he waved at Kiba, "this is the only way out."

"But you _can't_!" Naruto grimaced. It was just too wrong. He'd never kiss Kiba, but he couldn't watch Sasuke kiss Shino, either. It was just...wrong. "You can't because - because I'm chained to you! It'd be like me kissing him, too!"

"Your teammate is as bad as mine," Shino commented.

"We should really make them kiss each other," Sasuke muttered. He jerked sharply on the chain, distracting Naruto mid rant. "You or him," he spat. "I'm not staying in here another minute. Stop being a baby."

"Fine!" Naruto scowled. "I'll do it again. You better be grateful, teme. I'm saving you from getting a mouthful of bugs, you know!"

Shino's eyebrow twitched. That was the only sign he gave of how insulted he was. He stepped aside and went over to watch the door.

Naruto shot a bristling glare at Kiba, whose mouth was open, no doubt to deliver some insult or taunt. "Turn around! You don't have to watch and gloat! Pervert!"

"Like I'd want to!" Kiba grimaced. He turned his back, silently grateful he hadn't had a chance to speak. If Naruto would rather kiss Uchiha than him, that was just fine. Not like he cared.

A moment later the four teens trooped out of the room, none of them saying a word. Sasuke paused to make an 'x' near the door, just in case.

Two hours later they had a reasonable idea of the maze they'd traversed thanks to Shino's memory and Kiba's sense of direction. Sticking to the right at the first intersection took them back to the room. Going straight took them to another intersection, straight or left. They went straight again and were taken back to the room Sasuke and Naruto had originally been in. That was when Shino called a break, sparing Sasuke from having to admit weakness and Naruto from having to admit concern for his teammate. By the time they managed to get back to the room Kiba and Shino had been in, they knew it was directly below the first one. The left wall facing the door was the back wall of the first room. And judging from the tunnel branches, the walls separating the two rooms couldn't have been more than a foot thick. It really begged the question of how the rooms were sealed so tightly that Kiba and Shino hadn't detected Naruto and Sasuke's attempts to force their way out earlier.

The third portal outside the second room took them to a new room. By then, all four were so accustomed to the kissing that Naruto didn't even blush at the eyebrows being raised by the two boys waiting there. He scowled instead, annoyed at how Neji stared at him and Sasuke as if they'd done something disgusting. There was no point asking Shikamaru why the two boys hadn't attempted to get out of the room on their own. Neji was a thousand times more prissy than Sasuke on a bad day and Shikamaru was too lazy to push the issue. He also didn't bother asking anyone else to kiss the door open. While he didn't think kissing Shikamaru would bug him much - since Shikamaru was the sort to shrug it off as a troublesome necessity and nothing more - he'd gotten used to Sasuke. He actually thought it was a good thing they kept having to kiss. That little rest didn't stop Sasuke from looking glazed and numb when they walked. Having to kiss woke him up, where taunts and insults went entirely ignored. All he had to do was press a little closer than necessary, and Sasuke was bristling just like his usual self.

"Don't look at 'em," Kiba said to Neji and Shikamaru, waving for them to face the door. "It's the only way to open the door and better them than us."

"How convenient," Shikamaru muttered. He had an idea how much kissing Naruto and Sasuke must have done to make Kiba shrug it off so easily. At this rate the 'other' Kakashi was going to get just what he wanted. Lock them in a room, indeed.

It wasn't until all of them were moving down the new hall, that Naruto begged the question. "Where's Lee?"

Neji stopped in his tracks, a dangerously blank look on his face. "Why would he be here?"

"He got taken right before the guy came for Sasuke," Naruto frowned worriedly. "He had to have been brought here."

"He wouldn't have been put with us," said Shikamaru. "He's in no condition to walk around in a pointless maze like this."

"Well, what about Chouji, then?" Naruto prodded. "How come you guys were together instead of with your teammates?"

Now Shikamaru was the one to react sharply, "That man didn't take Chouji."

"How do you know?"

"He promised he wouldn't."

Kiba snorted, "And you believed the guy?"

"Yes," Shikamaru said flatly. He glanced at Naruto, "You and Sasuke were taken together, weren't you?"

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess..."

The tunnel took them down a long way to the right before ending at an intersection. They debated briefly about whether or not to take a left this time. So far the first portal outside each room, if one kept going right, had taken them back to the room again. Naruto wanted to keep going right because that had been his idea. Sasuke just wanted to keep moving. The others thought they should consider it a while before making another 'circle' and wasting time. In the end Sasuke decided it for them. They'd go left this time, since that was what Kiba and Neji wanted, but if it took them back to the room and the right path ended up being the correct one, one of them would have to start doing the kissing. Kiba immediately tried to change his vote to the right path and Neji threatened to murder Sasuke with his glare. Shikamaru commented that the two could always stay here and hope the rest of them came back once they found the exit. After more exchanges of death glares between Sasuke and Neji, and a few 'I'm not kissing him!' grimaces from Kiba, they were on their way again.

Down, to the left, up, back to the right, and finally they'd reached a portal. Kiba gave a fervent, 'Please don't be the room again!' while Naruto and Sasuke got into place.

Neji simply sniffed at the very thought of Sasuke attempting to make him kiss Kiba. Sasuke could barely walk without listing to one side. Empty threats didn't mean much to him. He turned his back on the two, once again activating the Byakugan. He couldn't see through the walls here, hadn't seen any chakra in the room, and even now, when the teleportation came, he couldn't understand why all of them were transferred instead of just the two boys standing in that particular circle. The kiss was the key, but some sort of energy had to be transporting them from one place to the other. Whatever it was, it remained invisible to his eyes. The transfer happened in a second, nothing but displaced air to show they'd arrived in a formerly unoccupied space.

Since Neji was the most alert, and staring away from the kissers, he was the first to see the occupants of the room they arrived in. He immediately discarded any personal issues he had with the people behind him, deflecting an attack and assuming a defensive position. Sharp bits of sand grated over his left hand, threatening to infiltrate despite his chakra. And then the person responsible was waved back and the opposition disappeared.

"Easy, Gaara."

"Gaara?" Naruto yelped, whirling from Sasuke to look around the room. His first thought was that his wounds still hadn't healed and he'd never be able to get enough of Kyuubi's chakra to fight _him_ again if he couldn't even heal a sore shoulder. His second thought was that Sasuke was a moron for activating the sharingan half asleep. Those damn squigglies were way too eager to cover his face up. "Stop it," he hissed at his teammate, giving him a shove. "We can't fight in here."

Kankuro, who'd been the one to wave Gaara aside, shrugged. "We're not going to fight. Are we, Gaara?"

"No fighting," Gaara said in his calm monotone. His eyes were roving over Naruto, taking note of his bandaged face, his proximity to Sasuke, what the two had just been doing, and the chain that bound them together. Whatever he thought of it, he kept to himself. "Sand is now allied to the Leaf."

"Since when?" asked Shino. His own attention was caught on Kankuro, who looked oddly naked without his puppet. Gaara's gourd of sand was strapped to his back, but the other one looked as if he'd been taken completely unprepared. He was apparently unarmed.

"Since we found the remains of the Kazekage," said Kankuro. "Orochimaru took his place, remember? Enemy of our enemy and all that. We were just finalizing the agreement when that guy showed up."

"That wasn't Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said quickly. "It was an imposter."

"Obviously," Kankuro snorted. As if any mere Leaf jounin could have gotten the drop on Gaara so easily. "He said to wait here until someone came to 'collect' us. I guess that's you guys?"

"You have to kiss to get the door open," said Shikamaru. "They're good at it, so we've been letting them have the honors."

Naruto rediscovered his humiliation and blushed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean!"

Shikamaru sent him a knowing look, "That you're good at it. Quick and efficient, no arguing or whining or," and his eyes flicked toward Neji, "feeling as if your manhood is being threatened."

"Yeah, well," Naruto blustered, "if someone _else_ wants the honors, have at it." He tugged Sasuke away from the circle and waved for someone to take their place. "It's not like we've been doing it because we want to."

"I'll do it," said Gaara.

"Eh?" Naruto flinched. Gaara was staring at him as if he wanted to eat him up with his eyes. All of the color drained out of his face. "Um...with who?" They had a lot in common and with time they could have been great friends, but the last time he'd seen him the guy had been trying to kill two of his most precious people. That, along with the hungry stare, made him swallow nervously. "With...?"

"Uchiha."

Naruto flinched again. "Huh?" Then why was he staring at him like that? He wanted to kiss Sasuke? "No!"

"That's twice now," Shino commented. "What objection do you have this time?"

Naruto shot a wild look at the others, just realizing how it might sound. "It's not like I care! It's just-" He stared at Gaara, who was still eating him alive with those burning eyes of his. Why stare at him if he wanted to kiss Sasuke? One way to find out. "I mean - wh - why would you wanna kiss _him_? He's an asshole!"

"Jealous?" asked Shikamaru. Kiba snorted.

Sasuke glared suspiciously at Gaara. This had nothing to do with him. Gaara was needling Naruto intentionally. Hoping to get Naruto to volunteer himself instead? He wouldn't be surprised. "It's fine with me."

"What?" Naruto blurted, sending him a horrified look. "You're kidding!"

"No."

"Not-" Naruto turned his attention back on Gaara, "This is suspicious! Why do you want to kiss the asshole? Confess!"

Shikamaru sighed, "You're being ridiculous, Naruto."

"I want an answer!"

"Because," Gaara said calmly, "you seemed to enjoy doing so."

"Wha-" Blood rushed to Naruto's face, "I did not! Take that back! You take it back or I'll - I'll-"

Sasuke snapped and knocked Naruto on the back of the head. "Shut up, dobe." He caught Gaara's eyes and stepped back into the circle. "We have to mimic the illustrations."

"Understood," said Gaara.

Naruto watched the redhead approach his teammate and suffered a minor panic attack. This wasn't happening. "No! You can't-"

"Shut up, Naruto," Shikamaru sighed. "Just because you're the only one who's ever kissed him doesn't mean you own rights to his mouth. Let someone else have a turn." Suddenly every eye in the room was on him. He ignored most of them in favor of staring at Sasuke, his expression bored but pointed. They both knew perfectly well why Sasuke had agreed. To keep Naruto from volunteering in his stead. While he didn't particularly like Sasuke, he liked the idea of Gaara getting close to the blonde even less. "It would be nice to get out of this room sometime today."

Sasuke closed the distance between him and Gaara, ignoring the chain and the way Naruto was gaping at him with the strangest expression on his face. Disturbed, accusing, disbelief, confusion, and he was blushing and tugging absently on the chain like he couldn't make up his mind to pull or to be still. Gaara's expression was even worse. Blank face, burning eyes. An inhumanly cool hand taking hold in his hair. The others turned away, but Naruto was still watching. Well, let him watch. The idiot didn't even understand that he was the reason Gaara's eyes had that semi-psychotic bloodlust in them. The same look Sasuke had seen during their fight. If it weren't for the tiny layer of sand masking Gaara's true skin, he just knew there would be a psychotic grin on his face to match those eyes. He could barely keep from activating the sharingan. "We have to close our eyes, like in the illustrations."

"I know," said Gaara. He flicked one look off to the side, at Naruto, who was starting to look pale and panicky. "I'm not going to kill him."

"Of course not!" Naruto blurted. "But why do you have to-" The two kissed and he bit off his words. Wrong. Again, that was all he could think, that it was wrong. Gaara was just like him, so he should have been as disturbed by the thought of kissing another guy, especially an asshole like Sasuke, as he'd been. So why did he have to do it? And he was standing much too close to Sasuke. Even when he'd started pushing during the kisses to wake the teme up, he hadn't gotten as close as that. And Sasuke was too pale, like he was scared. Why not? He didn't know that it was a demon that made Gaara so volatile, but he'd definitely seen how dangerous he could be. So why had he agreed? He couldn't have actually wanted to kiss someone he was afraid of.

The door opened with a whoosh, and Naruto sent a relieved look at it. Then Shikamaru looked past him and he realized the two were still kissing. Naruto took a step toward them, tugging on the chain. Sasuke's hands dropped to his sides and his eyes opened, but he made no effort to push Gaara away. And Gaara had the nerve to move closer, looking for the world like he was planning to crawl into his mouth. It was too much.

"Stop it," Naruto growled, stalking over to them. "Knock it off!" He pushed them apart, wincing at the wet sound of their mouths parting. This was a whole new level of disturbing. Gaara's eyes snapped open to lock on his own. Naruto gave him an extra shove, "You pervert!"

"That was interesting," said Gaara. He licked his lips.

For a moment, Naruto thought he was trying to pick a fight. Then it clicked. Gaara, demon container, a lifetime without human contact, no friends, no intimacy, even worse off than he'd ever been. This was his first kiss. Naruto sympathized, but that still didn't make it okay to...to drag it out like that. Especially with Sasuke! Yeah, they were just alike, but that didn't mean their first kisses had to be with the same person! And he'd never kissed Sasuke _that_ way. "You were supposed to stop when the door opened," he muttered.

"I was distracted. I see now why you enjoyed it."

"I did not!" Naruto blurted. "Stop saying that!" He didn't realize Sasuke had passed him till the chain drew taut. He shot him a look and was almost relieved by his shuttered expression. Gaara was making him feel like it was his fault he'd wanted to kiss his teammate. He swore, if Gaara tried that at the next portal, he'd kiss the guy himself. He couldn't stand the thought of seeing that again. "Let's go," he muttered at the blank-faced redhead. He added a convulsive, "Pervert," on his way out the door. Gaara didn't seem to mind.

The tunnel outside the room led them down a long way before turning sharply to the left and ending at an intersection. They were just preparing to have another debate when Akamaru started barking.

Kiba's face lit up with excitement. "Fresh air! He smells fresh air! Grass - animals - outside!"

"Where?" asked Shikamaru.

"Let's find out," Kiba grinned. He dropped and set the puppy on the floor. Akamaru took one long whiff and then raced down the right path.

They caught up with the dog at an intersection. Again, the puppy took long sniffs at the air before picking the left path. They followed him up past another intersection, at which Akamaru barely even paused. Then the dog was gone, with Kiba right behind him. Naruto took two steps to race after them, and Sasuke jerked him back to a walk.

"Come on," Naruto whined, "we're almost out!" He knew Sasuke was tired, but they had to be close if Kiba wasn't even waiting for them.

"We don't know what we'll find outside," Shikamaru reminded him. "We should proceed cautiously."

"I heard you made chuunin," said Kankuro. He didn't mention that he'd heard it by accident, having run into his sister while she was giving a blistering rant about the guy who'd had the nerve to forfeit during a match with her and still somehow managed to get promoted. "Think that makes you the leader here?" Sand might be allied to Konoha now, but that didn't mean he was going to follow orders just because of rank.

Shikamaru shrugged. "If you want to rush on ahead, feel free."

"Don't argue," Gaara said quietly. Kankuro stood down just like that. They both knew Shikamaru was right. Kankuro was just itching to start trouble.

They walked briskly but cautiously down a long way, till the path turned sharply once, twice, and then they could just make out a hint of light in the distance. It wasn't until they neared the light that they realized it was faint because Kiba was standing in the doorway and blocking most of it. His expression when he turned managed to dull any excitement they might have felt.

"There are things out there," he murmured, looking queasy and unnerved. "Things...!"

"What kind of _things_?" Neji demanded, his eyes narrow with contempt. He didn't wait for an answer, "Out of the way."

"Sure," Kiba snorted, "see for yourself." And then he moved to the back of the group, a protective hand holding Akamaru, who was whining softly, close to his chest. "Never liked him, anyway," he muttered quietly.

Neji stepped into the light and out of sight. There was a loud 'Hah!' as if someone had laughed or been punched in the gut. A tendril of sickly green mist tickled the doorway, causing everyone but Gaara to cover their noses. Neji took one step back into the tunnel, gagging and choking on the fumes. Then he went insane.

_.-.  
TBC_


	8. The Labyrinth III: Poison

Warnings: oddness, bit of NaruSasu

_The Labyrinth III:_ Poison

It took almost two minutes to restrain Neji. During that time he managed to bite a chunk out of Shikamaru's arm, kick Naruto in the face, scratch up both Sasuke and Kankuro, and leave some nice bruises on Kiba and Shino before they'd finally succeeded in prying him off. All told it was a horrible show of teamwork and had he used even a hint of his ninja training he could have easily killed someone. Luckily his crazed state reduced him to bestial behavior and while the initial shock of not being able to use any jutsus against him had slowed down their reactions, they were still shinobi. They had him hogtied and gagged before the first drops of blood hit the floor. Then they backtracked to the corner away from the exit to regroup.

"I don't get it," Naruto mumbled. He'd very nearly bitten through his tongue and like the lingering soreness in his shoulder, the injury showed no sign of going away. He spat a mouthful of bloody saliva on the floor, then rounded on Gaara. The Sand nin had stood back the entire time, and now he had the same blank look as always. "You're using your sand right now, aren't you? I thought it was just me and Sasuke, because of this stupid chain, but-" He grimaced at Shikamaru, who was having his arm wrapped up by Kankuro, the only one with bandages left. "Is it just us from Konoha?"

"I haven't been able to use my sand since we left the room," said Gaara.

Sasuke shot him a sharp look. Did that mean his blank expression wasn't a mask? He hadn't shown a hint of surprise or emotion during the attack. Even now he looked more statue than human.

"It's not that our chakra has been sealed or rendered useless," said Shino. He and Kiba were crouching beside Neji, keeping him from thrashing too much and ready to redo the ropes when, not if, Neji finished chewing through the one holding his gag in place. "He used the byakugan in the hall earlier and my own chakra is still functioning normally. It's only externally that our chakra dissipates."

"Someone might have mentioned that sooner," Shikamaru commented. Taijutsu was not one of his strong points and while Neji wasn't particularly strong himself, the adrenaline rush had given him quite an advantage. Being tackled by the crazed Hyuuga was comparable to wrestling with Asuma. Not something he cared to repeat.

"I don't remember you offering to share information," Kankuro snorted at him. He wiped the back of a hand over the light scratch Neji had made on his neck, some welts but no blood, and then tossed the roll of bandages to Sasuke. "You're going to look like a fucking mummy by the time we get out of here." He rather liked that.

Neji's fingernails weren't very long, but they'd dug some nice grooves in his hand. Sasuke wrapped the wound with a dull glower, not responding to the taunt. Shikamaru had been thrown right between him and Naruto, leaving them in a tangled mess. He was just glad Naruto was the one who'd been kicked in the head and not him. "Nothing happened to you when you were standing in doorway, earlier," he said, looking over at Kiba. "Right?"

"They saw me," Kiba made a face at the memory, "but they didn't come at me or anything." He was rather pleased with the way things had turned out. He had warned the dumbass not to go out there, after all. "It's his own fault for walking right out there."

Considering Neji had the byakugan, it was unlikely he'd have walked out unless he'd seen something Kiba hadn't. That the 'things' out there were merely an illusion, perhaps. Between the two of them, Sasuke would put faith in Neji's eyes over Kiba's nose any day. That meant that there was something else behind the illusion Neji hadn't spotted, or that he'd underestimated what he had seen. It was likely the latter. He'd gotten a very close look at the sort of energy used in this place with his sharingan when he and Naruto had struck the door earlier. If he hadn't witnessed the power of it firsthand, he wouldn't have even known it was there. He tossed the roll of bandages back to Kankuro. Then he tugged on the chain. "Let's go take a look."

"Are you kidding?" Naruto demanded. "If one of us goes crazy the other one is screwed." He raised his cuffed arm in emphasis. The damn chain was three inches long again. He swore the length kept changing on them. As short as it was now there would be absolutely no chance to evade an attack. And though Sasuke was putting up a good front for the others, it was obvious he'd barely gotten back to his feet after being bowled over by Neji. He'd either end up attacking Sasuke in a crazed state like Neji, or braining him to get him off and, either way, one of them would be stuck dragging a hogtied psycho.

"I'll go as well," Shikamaru sighed. Someone had to take charge here or they'd end up bickering and accomplishing nothing. Once he actually knew what they were up against he'd have some chance to find a way around it.

Naruto scoffed, working his way to an outright ranting tone. "What? You want to get jumped by one of us? Or both? Yeah, that's a great idea! I guess getting bitten once wasn't enough for ya, eh?"

Shikamaru sent a tired look at the others, including the Sand pair. He hadn't expected any help from that quarter and received none. Sasuke was staring off toward the entrance, Kiba had his head down and was pointedly petting Akamaru, and Shino merely quirked an eyebrow. No one was offering to help calm Naruto down, assuming it was even possible. He sighed and adopted Sasuke's approach of ignoring him altogether. "Anyone else coming?"

"Spider," said Gaara. He stared impassively, completely ignoring the strange looks he received.

Kankuro rolled his eyes, waving at Shikamaru, "Let's go. Make sure to hold your breath."

Sasuke led the way, dragging a ranting grumbling tugging Naruto one step at a time. Shikamaru followed a few steps behind, his expression twisted in tired annoyance as he had to shove Naruto a few times when he tried stopping completely. Shino sidled up to Kankuro, who was trailing after.

"Spider?" Shino asked quietly.

"Don't worry about a few legs, just protect the head," Kankuro muttered. Temari would be throwing a fit right now if she knew Gaara had made that designation. The kid was smart, maybe, but having him in charge? It was downright degrading. He wasn't even useful without those shadows of his. In fact, he was probably the weakest one here, not counting the mummy.

Not a bad analogy, Shino supposed, although- "The head isn't very useful without eyes."

Kankuro grinned, almost willing to forgive the creep for that thing in the woods. "Part of the head, right? But if you ask me we already lost those." He'd back the byakugan over the sharingan any day, especially when there was no report of the Uchiha ever using his for genjutsu. Best eyes around for mind-fucking and he didn't even use them for it. He was a hand all the way, just another leg. And if Gaara wasn't worried about that...friend...of his, then the other leg didn't matter much either right now.

One look at the bright sunshine outside was enough to momentarily blind Sasuke and give him a splitting headache. Just what he needed. Naruto didn't seem to have that problem because he immediately cursed, trying to drag him out of sight. He wished someone would take the initiative and knock the moron out. Dragging him around would be a huge strain, but it had to be better than dealing with this. He wiped his eyes clear and squinted again.

"What are they?" Naruto was hissing, in a whisper louder than his normal speaking tone. "What the hell are they?"

They were things. Just as Kiba had claimed. The thing directly in front of the exit was the biggest of the things. About twelve feet tall and nearly as wide, green, bulbous on top, with a wide gaping mouth full of arm-long teeth, thick squirming root-like tentacles that drug it along the ground as it moved a few inches to the side and turned that mouth toward them. It looked more plant than animal, but its breaths were loud huffing explosions of air. The leaves and entwined vine textures that made up its head formed what might have been hair and a face, giving it an almost humanoid appearance. Human, animal, plant. Yes, it was most certainly a thing. And there were more of them squirm-crawling their way around the clearing just outside the entrance. A few were waist-high, but there were three that rivaled the largest size. It was a troop, or herd, of huge things with big teeth. Although Sasuke still wished someone would shut Naruto up, he couldn't quite argue with the frantic disgust in his voice. They were gross intimidating things, he'd give him that much.

They were also see-through, once he'd activated the sharingan. He said as much to Shikamaru, who'd edged closer to see for himself. This was undoubtedly why Neji hadn't hesitated. There was no sign of traps or chakra, and the things looked like a weak illusion at best. In fact, half of the forest looked like an illusion, only the dirt and a few of the trees looked solid and even they appeared masked and obscured by fake plants and a variety of small creeping animal-like things in the foliage. His eyes told him they were on an open field, dirt and moss, no grass, and a few trees that might be henge'd rocks or other inanimate objects. There was a blur further out, stretching along the horizon and then higher until even the sky seemed to be part of the illusion. There was also a person, nearly a mile off and only visible through the blur because he was one of the few things not affected by the illusion. Sasuke couldn't make him out beyond the slight haze of his energy. Human, real, but still not enough energy to be threatening. There was nothing out there to make a shinobi hesitate. So what had happened to Neji?

"Those things got him!" Naruto yelled, furious at being ignored. He grabbed Sasuke's shirt and got right in his face. "Listen to them huff! They're what made that laughing sound - they huffed poison on him and they'll do the same to anyone who goes out there! The only reason they're not coming in after us is 'cause they're too big-"

"That one's not too big," Kankuro pointed out, amused by Naruto's antics.

"It's more likely that we're safe in here," said Shikamaru. "They're guards to keep us from going out. They can see us, but they won't do anything to us unless we attempt to go out."

"Wait, then, you don't buy his claim that they're not real?" Naruto frowned in confusion, looking from Shikamaru to Shino. It wasn't until Sasuke shoved his hands off that he scowled at his teammate again.

"I never said they weren't real," Sasuke spat. "I said they don't **look** real. Everything out there looks like an illusion. But if it is, then it's an obvious illusion put in place to hide something even worse."

Naruto deflated sullenly. He was getting very frustrated at not being able to fold his arms over his chest. "Then, you're not going to suggest someone go out there and see what happens?"

"I didn't say that."

Shikamaru grabbed the back of Naruto's shirt before he could launch himself at his teammate again. "Be useful and clam up, Naruto. He can't go out when he's chained to you and none of us is volunteering to do it. We're assessing the situation, that's all."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. The situation was pretty clear already. "Those tentacles aren't long enough to grab us. They're slow as slugs. Even if the illusion is a trick to make us think they're not real, the poison can't hurt if you hold your breath. And if they've got some other attack, I doubt they're fast enough to hit a shinobi with it."

"You're assuming they aren't intelligent," said Shino.

"And that they're the source of the poison," said Shikamaru. "It's far more likely that the genjutsu caster is nearby and someone with him is the source of the poison. Even if the...things...are real and they are the source of the poison, there's no reason to think they're all that's hidden out there." The fact that their enemy could easily be sitting on the roof right above them and listening to every word they said clearly hadn't occurred to any of them. They were also missing the entire point of this trap. He rubbed a hand over his throbbing arm and wondered if he should warn Sasuke about the poison. In his condition it probably wouldn't make much difference, so he didn't waste his breath. For a simple excuse for some male bonding, this sure had turned into a troublesome mess. "There's a quick way to determine the rules."

"Ru-" Naruto's eyes widened. "Follow the instructions to get out..."

"This is more of a game than a trap," Shikamaru confirmed tiredly. "Are we at the wrong exit, are we not supposed to leave until our abductor returns, or is there some qualification we have to fulfill in order to exit safely. We can't determine the first possibility without backtracking through the maze and trying some of the other paths. That's the last option because by the time we check all the untaken paths, the man should be back. In the meantime," he eyed the things out there and wrinkled his nose, "someone is going to have to throw something at them."

"Why?" asked Kankuro. He still didn't like the guy, but he was suspicious. Shikamaru seemed to know a lot more than he was letting on.

"To see if they're simply here to poison anyone who steps outside, or if they'll attack inanimate objects as well. Hitting one would also prove whether or not anything is physically there."

Sasuke put a hand out at Naruto. "Kunai."

"No way!" Naruto growled. "If that thing gets mad because you hit it and huffs poison on us, it'll be just the same as going out there. Who says the poison only hurts if you breathe it, huh? We just got a little bit of it on us earlier, but standing right here we'd get it head on just like Neji did." If Sasuke tried to say he could stand there long enough to watch the kunai hit the thing and still be able to run away fast enough to avoid the poison, he was going to knock the lying asshole out himself. Sasuke's eyes narrowed in a very hateful glare, but he didn't say a word. There was no way he could run right now and they both knew it. Naruto snorted at him, then turned his glare on Shikamaru for suggesting it in the first place. "And if Sasuke isn't right here to watch, you won't know if the kunai hitting the thing is part of the illusion or not, right? So that's out. Any other ideas?"

Shikamaru sighed. Was there any point suggesting the obvious? Naruto would throw a fit in horrified denial and Sasuke would pull a macho outrage. At this rate one of them might as well just walk out and try to dispel the illusion. Or take Kankuro's route and try running past the things as if they were the only threat out there.

"Carry him," said Shino.

Naruto gaped in horror, Sasuke flinched in outrage, and Shikamaru slapped a hand over his forehead. He was laughing before the two teammates could say a word. They were so predictable it hurt. And the idea was so obvious and simple that only two idiots like them would put up such a fuss over it. Their pissy expressions and Shino's blankly confused face made him laugh harder.

"What?" Shino frowned. "It's the most obvious solution."

Sasuke glared at him for even suggesting it. Then he snapped a disgusted look on Shikamaru, who was bent forward and laughing like a loon. "What the hell is so funny?"

"You two," Shikamaru gasped, swallowing hard to keep the laughs in. "Stubborn to the last. And him," he jerked a thumb at Shino, "for thinking you could be mature adults about something so simple. And this entire situation, because it's all Asuma's fault. Locked room, fine, but did he have to drag the rest of us into it, too?" He choked on what sounded scarily like a giggle. Then he forced himself to shove Naruto and Sasuke away from the exit. "Everyone back up. Safe distance."

"What are you thinking?" Kankuro demanded. He didn't have to look to know Gaara was frowning at them, at him. Brains weren't supposed to have breakdowns and that was exactly what Shikamaru looked to be having. Either that, or he was-

"I'm going to step outside and try dispelling the illusion," Shikamaru chuckled. "And whether I'm poisoned or not, you're going to tie me up afterward and keep an eye on Sasuke. And yourself, too," he flicked a look at Kankuro's neck. "Just in case."

Sasuke froze, all expression leaving his face. "It's contagious?"

"Seems that way," said Shikamaru. He wasn't letting the laughs out anymore, but they were still there, shaking his shoulders and sending waves of careless euphoria over him. It wasn't actually a bad sensation, certainly better than having the sudden urge to jump and bite people the way Neji had after a full dose of the stuff. "You can salvage your pride right now, but if that scratch infected you, then you're going to end up getting tied and carried, anyway. Sorry to break it to you." And he couldn't stop a laugh, proving just how not sorry he really was. It would serve the stubborn arrogant jerk right. He probably should feel a little sorry for Naruto, but he didn't. His stubbornness was just as annoying, really.

Kankuro curled a hand over his throat. His scratches hadn't broken skin. But the mere possibility of it made him pale and take a quick step back. Without his sand, Gaara was all but defenseless. If three of them lost it all at once... "We don't have enough rope!"

"So hit us over the head, if you have to," Shikamaru shrugged. He thought of the hogtied Neji getting hit over the head first and broke into laughter again. It was starting to hurt his throat and chest, but he really couldn't stop. A glance found the usually taciturn Neji still flopping and thrashing like a fish and he wondered if a person could laugh himself to death. Not as nice as dying in his sleep, but not too bad. He threw a bleary-eyed look at Sasuke. "What do you say? Take a peek and get carried, or do I walk out there? It's all the same to me." Though he would have preferred to watch the Uchiha get carried before he lost it completely. It was better to actually have a reason for laughing his lungs out. He sent a curious look at his arm and snorted at the faint swelling. There was no visible sign of the poison tracking its way to his brain. Bright bold green lines would have been so much funnier.

Sasuke thought he was going to be sick. The very idea of himself laughing like Shikamaru made his throat close up and his stomach churn. At least if he got a direct blast of the poison he'd have the satisfaction of tearing a few chunks out of Naruto before he was put down. An infection was far more likely from a bite than a scratch, but there was still a chance. He clenched his fist, trying to feel any difference in the wound itself. His hand hurt, but his head hurt much worse than that. In fact, being jerked and rushed away would probably knock him out, sparing him from any hysterical breakdown that might be heading his way. In the end it was a glance at Shino that decided him. He'd called Naruto a baby earlier for being stubborn and immature. Was he honestly going to be just as bad? He put a hand out at Naruto again.

"We don't know you're infected," Naruto cried, turning to put his kunai pouch out of grabbing reach. "And we know I'm not! If I can't get us away fast enough, we'll both get poisoned for sure."

Shino raised a hand between them, stopping the brewing debate and drawing their glares. He ignored them in favor of frowning down at Shikamaru, who was now leaning against the wall and shaking with muffled laughter. "Are you capable of running?"

"Me?" Shikamaru laughed. "Not a chance."

"Then you can't step out there. All they did was poison Neji because he stumbled back inside afterward. Had he remained outside, those things might have eaten him. I doubt the teeth are for show."

"So someone will have to yank me back inside and run fast," waved Shikamaru. "I don't mind being carried. Just don't let me get a full blast because I don't want to eat anyone." He clamped his hand over the bandage and imagined Neji's face when he learned that he'd swallowed a chunk of his arm. He almost slipped to the ground at the force of his convulsive laughs. "Cannibal Hyuuga, oh, that's great..."

"Hey..." The wariness in Kankuro's voice drew their attention. He edged backward slowly, pointing at the doorway. "Anyone know what that is...?"

For a long moment, nobody moved. There was a yellow creature hovering in the doorway. At first glance it resembled a bat, a round yellow body the size of a person's head, filled by a large red eye that blinked slowly at them, and large wings with purple skin on the inside. The wings were flapping much too slowly to be supporting its weight. Yet it hovered in midair, that large eye turning from one person to the next. It was less than two feet away from them.

"Just like the other things," Sasuke said very quietly. It was transparent with the sharingan, but there was no question in his mind that this one was real. It was also half inside the building.

"Run or fight?" Naruto whispered. His hand dipped into his pack, curling around a kunai. The thing didn't look dangerous, no mouth, no claws, nothing but the wings and eye. But it smelled weird, smoky and sweet like burnt flowers.

"Why don't we introduce ourselves?" said Shikamaru. He rolled his eyes when the others sent him death glares. Just because he couldn't stop laughing didn't mean he wasn't taking the situation seriously. "If it can come in, the little versions of those poison things can. So what's the point? If they were going to come in and get us, the others would have already." He waved a hand at the hovering thing, drawing its gaze to him. "Kakashi dumped us here. Have you seen him?"

The batlike thing let out a high pitched hum, its wings fluttering so fast they blurred. It bobbed for a moment, at eye level with Shikamaru, then it turned and zoomed away. Shikamaru snorted himself into another muffled laughing fit.

"That's it," Kankuro growled suddenly. That was all the proof he needed. He stalked to the laughing idiot and shoved him against the wall, shaking him when he wouldn't even meet his eyes. "What the hell is going on?"

"How should I know?" Shikamaru muttered. He started to say something and hiccuped instead. He wasn't getting enough oxygen to continue laughing this hard. He batted halfheartedly at the hand holding him up. "Let go. I don't know anything."

Kankuro could hear quiet footsteps approaching them. He wasn't going to stand down this time no matter what Gaara said. Fuck the alliance. They'd been kidnapped by someone impersonating a Konoha shinobi and here they were, being played with by another Konoha shinobi. Now they were supposed to trust them? He bared his teeth in an unholy grin. "I don't need to use chakra to beat the hell out of you."

"Yes, you do," said Shino.

Sasuke snorted, "Do you even realize how badly you're outnumbered?"

Naruto didn't have a smartass comment, he just punched him as hard as he could. In his opinion, that was much more satisfying. That would teach the bastard to ignore him. And, damn it, he'd been wanting to kick his ass since the first time they'd met. What was it with the guy and picking on helpless people? Okay, so Shikamaru wasn't usually helpless, but threatening him right now was just as bad as going after Konohamaru. He could barely even stand up. Check that, he couldn't stand up at all. Naruto caught Shikamaru's arm and kept him from slumping to the ground. He never took his eyes off Kankuro, though. The punch had knocked him back, but he still looked fully prepared to take them all on. Judging by his grin, he was actually looking forward to it. Naruto tensed when he spotted Gaara closing in on them, but if he couldn't use Kyuubi's chakra then he doubted Gaara would be able to use his demon's, either. In a hand to hand fight, he definitely outweighed Gaara. And there was still Kiba over there, if they needed backup.

Gaara stopped beside his brother, his face as blank as ever. "Kankuro?"

"He's in on it," Kankuro spat. He bristled and braced himself for the censure. "They're probably all in on it! We don't know-"

"Naruto and subterfuge?" Gaara interrupted smoothly.

Kankuro made a face, not quite skuffing his foot in embarrassment. Yeah, that didn't sound likely. "Okay, maybe not him, but that one knows a hell of a lot more than he's telling us."

"I don't," Shikamaru huffed. He'd finally stopped laughing. He still couldn't catch his breath, though. He really wished Naruto would let him go so he could sit down. This was so tiring and annoying and stupid. "Just that no one was supposed to get hurt. It's just a time wasting exercise to get those two to bond. Asuma made him think of a locked room and," he managed one more laugh, "he really meant it, I guess. None of this is personal, no politics, he doesn't know who any of us are. He was just asking around for strong young people. To borrow. I don't know what for. I don't know what kind of jutsu he was using or how he set all this up. I don't know where we are or what he needs us for. I don't know if we're supposed to find a way out or wait here. I don't know anything. Honestly. Naruto, put me down."

"Yeah," Naruto said quickly, "okay." He lowered him and then remained crouching in front of him. "What do you mean bond?"

Shikamaru snorted, rolling his eyes. "Blame your own stupid stubborn rivalry. And Asuma. He was talking about how you don't get along. He figured locking you two up until you'd finally fought it all out, but that's obviously not what the fake had in mind with his locked room. Only why did he have to include the rest of us in it? I shouldn't even be here. I get along just fine with my teammates. Well, with one of them, anyway." Because, really, who could get along with Ino? Not even Sakura got along with her and they'd been best friends a few years ago.

Shino was the first to notice the trouble heading their way. Or, more accurately, Akamaru noticed first and warned Kiba, who sent the puppy to inform his teammate. After sitting on Neji for the last twenty minutes too far away to know what the hell they were all going on about, Kiba was so annoyed that he just cocked his head and made a face when Shino sent him a sharp look. Someone was coming. Akamaru had smelled the guy from all the way in here and there they all were, arguing and bunched up right by the exit, and none of them even noticed? They weren't even looking outside. What the hell kind of shinobi were they if they couldn't even keep watch? He really missed Hinata. Granted, she hardly said two words without being prompted, and could be as boring as Shino on a bad day, but at least she was always there to keep an eye out.

He grumbled moodily, shifting on Neji's back and glaring at the lot of them. Neji wasn't bucking as much, but he did snap at him, growling and huffing like a bull. He supposed he should have gotten some more rope to replace the chewed up gag. He didn't see the point, though. The guy was clearly winding down, and watching the contorted expressions on his filthy face was kinda satisfying. Well, that was one reason to be glad Hinata wasn't here. She wasn't vindictive enough to enjoy her cousin's plight as much as her teammate did. It was a real shame Shino wouldn't let Akamaru mark the sullen bastard while they had the chance. He sat more heavily on the trussed up Hyuuga's back and watched as the others took up positions against the walls.

Even from where Kiba was sitting, he could hear the person. Soft murmurs and unnerving croons from the things outside, one of those loud 'haa' sounds and a startled complaint, like a shinobi who'd just been nipped by his own nindog-in-training pup. The mere idea of someone training those things made his stomach hurt. Shino's bugs were equally creepy, but at least they didn't stink and have mouths big enough to 'accidentally' bite their owner's head off with a single chomp. He saw the others tense, flattening closer to the wall as the footsteps approached the entrance. He readied his own kunai, a bit put out that he'd have to protect Neji as well if the stranger made it past the others. Not that there was much chance of that.

Unlike Neji, this guy was taken down in a matter of seconds. He walked right inside with a loud 'Anyone in here?' and was immediately pounced, knocked flat onto his stomach, arms wrenched behind his back, a thin wire edging into his neck to keep his head back, and pointy weapons digging warningly into various parts of his anatomy. From his ashen face it was very clear he'd come close to wetting himself. A long moment of silence settled over them as his dark blue eyes flicked from one expressionless face to the next. Then a heavy rustle sounded outside and the man let out a panicked 'Oh, shit!' before a cloud of poison gushed inside.

From where Kiba was sitting, the retreat looked instantaneous. Shino and Kankuro grabbed the hostage, Naruto grabbed Sasuke, and Akamaru tried to grab Shikamaru. Sadly the puppy wasn't as strong as his sire yet and the two were left behind to take the full blast. Kiba spared one moment to glare at Gaara, who'd reached him before anyone else had even started to move, and then ran to his partner. Shikamaru had Akamaru's head smothered in his vest when the poisonous cloud dissipated. At first glance it wasn't clear whether that was to protect the pup from the poison or to suffocate him. Kiba didn't wait to find out. He snatched his partner up and retreated a safe distance away. Had he stopped to think about it, he might have hesitated to hold Akamaru so close to his neck. As it was, he received a sloppy lick over his cheek and a tail thumping on his arm rather than a throat rending bite.

Shikamaru wiped an arm over his runny nose, coughing for a moment. That stuff was putrid, searing his throat and leaving his eyes running nearly as badly as his nose. He also had an overwhelming desire to sleep. He did not, however, feel a sudden hunger for human flesh, so maybe the stuff affected each person differently. The huge thing that had huffed on them was crowded in the doorway, tentacles reaching futilely at him. He eyed one of the kunai that had been dropped during the flight, then thought better of it. The thing wasn't going to fit through that narrow doorway and, besides, he wanted to still be awake for the interrogation. Shino had joined Kiba, both watching him warily from a few feet away. He waved them off, climbing to his feet and wiping his shirt over his face. His skin tingled where the stuff had struck him, a light unpleasant burn. Nothing serious.

"I'm not going to bite anyone," he muttered, when the two tensed the closer he came to them. He considered this sleep-inducing effect an improvement over having to laugh until he hyperventilated. "The poison may have a different effect each time."

"It depends on the person's natural immunities," said their hostage. "The normal status effects are poison, berserk, sleep, confusion, slow, blind, and sometimes stop or stone, but these Marlboro's are too young to do that. The worst you have to worry about with these is berserk and confusion, since a person can do serious damage under those. And sleep, since you can sleep right through the acid spitting till you die. They're too awkward to do physical attacks often." The hostage blinked when he caught the blank stares he was receiving. After a moment he continued a tad quieter. "They're really not a serious threat if you can deal with the status effects..."

"Yeah?" Kankuro drawled. He sneered and turned the man toward Neji. Now that he wasn't being held down, the Hyuuga was writhing toward them, snapping dangerously close to their ankles. "How do we deal with those 'effects', then?"

"Oh, shit," the man exclaimed, his eyes widening as he hopped away from those snapping jaws. "Why did you tie him up like that? Just give him a remedy or-" He gaped, cringing closer to Kankuro, "Is that blood on his mouth? You let him **bite** someone? What kind of sick joke-" He let out an eep when he suddenly found himself being pricked by an assortment of sharp pointy weapons. "Wait," he said quickly, and quietly. "Hold up. If this is a weapons exercise, then you want Hiko, not me. I just came because an Allemange said Kakashi had put a bunch of kids right next to my Malboros. No one is supposed to be out here today. I specifically reserved the forest so this pack could get used to the place. They're not ready to interact with students yet, especially not with the babies along. Whatever exercise Kakashi has you doing, just take it somewhere else." He grimaced at the wire that was once more digging into his neck. "Okay?"

"How are we supposed to go somewhere else with those things out there?" Naruto demanded. He immediately regretted speaking up. They were looking down at him now, Gaara in particular. He flushed at the sudden scrutiny, equal parts embarrassed and angry, defensive more than anything. What was he supposed to have done? A moment ago he'd been horrified at the thought of supporting Sasuke, with everyone watching and Sasuke giving him that look. But when he'd seen that poison bearing down on them he'd acted on instinct. Even if he'd wanted to just take care of himself, he couldn't have done it with that chain holding them together. Now Sasuke was gone, had been before he'd even landed, and what was he supposed to do? Stand and leave him laying there with his arm hanging up all awkward and probably painful? It wasn't like he was hugging him or anything. He was just supporting him the easiest way he could think of. If he had to move quickly again, that was just common sense. They were still looking at him in a way that made him wish he could beat the hell out of all of them. Especially Kankuro. He'd give anything to wipe the smirk off that guy's face.

"We'll get to that in a minute," Shikamaru sighed. He felt comatose, slow and sluggish and...not too different from usual for him. He was probably the best person to be hit with a sleep inducing side effect. He spent a good portion of his time looking for anything to make staying awake worth the effort. Now he sat down on the other side of Naruto, as much to distract him as to give his boneless legs a break. Naruto's face was a royal red, cheeks bunched up as if his head were about to pop. Shikamaru ignored the defensive way he tensed and pulled Sasuke closer to him. Maybe there was a little merit to the whole locked room thing. He still didn't want to acknowledge it. Too troublesome. He caught their captive's eye. The man looked like a civilian, long dark hair in a loose tail, jeans and a dark jacket, no weapons in sight. The way he stared wildly and flinched at the slightest touch of a kunai also screamed civilian. "Do you have an antidote for the poison?" While Neji's byakugan was no more trustworthy in this situation than the sharingan, it was better than nothing.

Kankuro prodded him with the kunai he had against the man's stomach, his wire curled snugly around his neck. There was still a chance he'd been infected and he wasn't willing to consider what that might mean for Gaara. At the moment there were only three able fighters and two of them were Leafs. He didn't count Naruto, who was obviously too busy cuddling to be of any use. "Well?"

"I have a couple antidotes," the man said quickly. "But that'll only get rid of the poison. Are any of you actually poisoned?"

Kiba had resumed his former role, holding Neji down with one foot planted on the small of his back. He snorted and waved a hand at the rabid shinobi. "What do you think? He got a full blast of that poison."

"He doesn't look poisoned-" The man started to turn his head and froze when the wire made a tiny slice in his skin. "Um..."

There was no need for Kankuro to look at Gaara to know what he was going to say. He huffed and withdrew the wire. This man was clearly no threat. He let him go completely and stepped off to the side. He played with the sharp tip of his kunai, enjoying the way those dark blue eyes followed the movements and widened. No threat at all. Though it would be fun to see how much it took to make him wet his pants. He looked pretty close to it already. "Continue."

"Uh, sure." The man sent a wary look around him, making a face when he saw Kiba's foot. Finally, he sighed and crouched near Neji's head. He eyed him closely for a moment, then shook his head. "He's not poisoned. He's definitely berserk, maybe confused. Berserk causes an adrenaline rush but doesn't cause any harm to the afflicted. It can actually be useful in some situations since it increases strength. Poison is just the opposite, it wears down and slowly kills the person. It's only useful if you inflict it on something you can't cause significant damage on, and even then it can take a long time for it to die. Confusion is the worst, though. A berserker won't attack his own comrades. Confuse one and he may even attack himself."

"Thanks for the lesson," said Shikamaru. His expression was droll and more than a little bored. "Do you have the antidote or not?"

"That's what I'm saying," the man protested, looking rather annoyed. "Antidotes only cure poison. A tranquilizer would fix the berserk, but it won't do anything for the confusion and that's the real killer." He suddenly turned an outraged look on Kankuro. "How could you let him** bite **someone?"

Kankuro snorted. "Why are you looking at me?

The man scowled at him for a moment longer before looking around again. "Who did he bite?"

"Me," said Shikamaru.

"Well, you don't look poisoned, but you probably are." He dug into his jacket and tossed a small bottle to him. "It tastes like shit. Drink it anyway." Then his attention fell on Sasuke, his nose wrinkling. "He needs to go to the infirmary. Right away. Did he get bitten, too?"

"Scratched," Naruto muttered. He watched Shikamaru down the bottle he'd been given. Shouldn't he have hesitated? That was one of the first things they were taught. It was the shinobi version of never take candy from strangers. The man handed him a bottle, which he eyed warily. It could be anything from poison to truth serum. And he was supposed to trust the guy? To just go right ahead and give Sasuke something that might kill him? He scowled at Shikamaru. "Shouldn't you have had him take a sip first?"

"Shinobi are always immune to their own poisons," said Shikamaru. "If he did try that, he'd have to produce an antidote or be killed. Besides," he nodded at Sasuke, "unless he broke some ribs earlier, he shouldn't be breathing like that."

Naruto didn't think he'd broken anything, not that Sasuke would have mentioned it if he had. He was cold, though, clammy, breathing in shallow little jerks. He'd been trying not to think about it. The last time he'd been this close to Sasuke, Sasuke had looked a lot like he did right now. And then Sasuke had died. He wasn't going to think about it. He thought about the eyes on him instead, how uncomfortable and angry it made him. Tilting Sasuke's head back and opening his mouth was awkward. Sasuke choked and coughed on the smelly stuff, the thick glass of the bottle clinking against his teeth. They were watching the entire time and he hated them. He couldn't even give his teammate a drink of something that might save his life without being made fun of. Or maybe it was all in his head because when he turned coldly bitter eyes on them, nobody was smirking. Kiba wasn't looking at him, Shino nodded, Shikamaru took the empty bottle and pocketed it. Kankuro was busy drinking another of those little bottles, still eyeing their captive and fingering his kunai. Gaara was staring at him, but he was Gaara. Whatever was going through Gaara's mind, he seriously doubted judgment and mockery played a part in it.

"What about Neji?" Shikamaru asked, redirecting their captive's attention. "Do you have something to fix him?"

"No," the man sighed. He looked embarrassed, scratching at his cheek in a way that suddenly made Naruto think of Iruka. "I can't make remedies myself, so I don't have any on me. Sorry. I could cast an esuna, but not in here. This is the labyrinth, right? You can't use magic once you leave the chambers. We could try taking him outside, but..." He turned toward the entrance and grimaced at the large creature still crammed in the doorway, its tentacles scrabbling at the stone. "They're in a bad mood now." He straightened suddenly. "Why did you guys jump me, anyway? And what are you doing in here?"

"We were kidnapped and left here," Naruto scowled. He felt guilty for comparing this guy to Iruka even for a second. They looked nothing alike. Besides, this was an enemy. A weak, weird, possibly helpful enemy, but still a bad guy.

"By Kakashi?" The man's eyes widened suddenly, his mouth falling open. "Oh! You're Kakashi's students!"

Naruto was already bristling by the time Kankuro rounded on him. "I told you that wasn't Kakashi-sensei! We were with Kakashi-sensei when that guy grabbed us. It wasn't him, no matter what this guy says. It was someone pretending to be him - an imposter!"

"Or a different Kakashi," said Shikamaru. He ran a tired hand over his face. Whether he was poisoned or not, the antidote certainly wasn't helping with his tiredness. "Same name, different person. I told you this isn't about politics." He dropped his hand, leveling a sober stare on Kankuro. "Don't use this as an excuse to fight. It's a waste of time and energy. We are in enemy territory, you know. All of us."

"Don't tell me how to be a shinobi," Kankuro countered. He could definitely see why Temari was so riled by the guy. All the evidence pointed to him, to Konoha. The least Shikamaru could do was act defensive.

Shino stepped up to the captive, waiting for the man to finish eyeing his high coat warily. "How can we get out of here?"

"We'll have to use a card," the man sighed. He flushed as he dug in his jacket. "I'm not supposed to have any. Kakashi's going to owe me for this one. How could he leave you in here when he knew I had the forest reserved? Where is he, anyway?"

"We don't know," Shino said truthfully.

"That figures. Okay, everyone crowd around. I've never actually used one of these before. I think we just have to look like a group for it to move everyone. Uh, where are we going? Infirmary or the office? Did you guys just get here?"

"What is that?" asked Kiba. The man was holding a thin rectangular card, one that looked uncannily like something a certain white-haired man had used at the beginning of the Chunin exam. Only this one had a strange pattern on the back and a picture of five people flying through the air like a flock of birds on the front.

"It's a card," the man shrugged. "You can't use magic in the labyrinth halls, but cards are different. They don't use magic, they are magic. It's all internal. Or maybe that's external," he frowned. "I'm not really sure. It's like that antidote I gave you. There was some magical ingredients...maybe, I think...and I guess it uses magic when it works...unless it's just science...but it doesn't take any to...uh...activate it? Ugh, I sucked at Potions. Look, just trust me, okay? Items work. Period. The card should transport us fine. The labyrinth counts it as an item or magical creature and ignores it. I think. I'm not sure about the magical creature bit, but... Whatever, this is the closest thing I've got to a portkey. Uh, you guys don't have a portkey, do you?"

"What's a portkey?" Kiba shrugged.

"Yeah," the guy drawled, giving him a weird look. "You definitely just got here. Did Kakashi bring you here himself, or did he give you something that transported you here?"

Gaara reached into his pocket and then held his hand out, a shiny blue marble sparkling on his palm. "This was thrown to me."

"That's a portkey," the man nodded. "The moment you touch it, it activates and transports you. That's what the card does. Except that portkey only had one destination set, and you already used it, so it's useless now. This card takes you wherever you want to go. It's the same principal, though. So. Infirmary or office?"

"Can you take us to Konoha?" asked Shikamaru.

"Who wants to go there?" Kankuro scowled at him.

"We do," Naruto snapped. "And we still outnumber you."

"Easy, kids," the stranger winced, waving at them. "If this Konoha is where Kakashi picked you up, then a card ain't gonna take you there, anyway. This only works on school grounds. I'm just going to drop you off at the infirmary, alright? You can settle things once the headmaster gets back." He held the card up in one hand, at eye level. "Accompany on. Muraki."

There was a burning blue glow, the sensation of flying through the air, blurry surroundings, stinging wind, and then they were in another place, each still standing or sitting in the exact positions they'd been in before. Shikamaru promptly tipped over backwards at the lack of a wall behind him. They'd barely registered the white walls and a strange man, also in white, standing a short distance away. A loud gasp sounded in the room. Then a blur of green and a ear splitting cry of 'Neji!' They just had enough time to register Lee's presence. No one reacted quickly enough to keep him from getting bitten by his still rabid teammate.

The silver-haired man in the white jacket turned to glare at their captive. "Thank you. I just finished healing him and now he's poisoned. I do hope you have a very good explanation, Laguna-kun."

The blue-eyed man had the grace to blush. "It's all Kakashi's fault. Honest."

.-.  
TBC

-credits-  
Malboros and Laguna (pony-tail guy) are from Final Fantasy 8; the Allemange (one eyed bat thing) is from Final Fantasy 7; the Accompany card is from HunterxHunter; Muraki (silver-haired doctor guy) is from Yami no Matsuei (Descendents of Darkness).


End file.
